I think I mentioned that he wore a soft white collar, pinned and tied
with exquisite neatness. A moment later he wore it no longer. Without
troubling about pin, studs or buttons, with a swift movement he had
ripped the collar, tie and half the shirt-band from his neck, and
showed, of an angry and recent purply-red, vivid on his magnificent
throat, two curved marks like these brackets--().
Now I am not more squeamish than most men. I am far from having lived
the whole of my life in cotton-wool. But it needed no course in medical
jurisprudence to tell me what those marks were--the marks of teeth, and
of a woman's teeth. I was deeply wounded. Rose's amusements in this sort
were no affair of mine, and I strongly resented this humiliation both of
himself and of me.
But his hand gripped my arm like a vice. Suddenly I saw a quite new pair
in his grey-blue eyes. It was a swift fear lest, instead of helping him,
I should turn against him.
"Good God, man!" he cried in a high voice. "Don't think _that_! Don't
think I'm such a cur as to--oh, my God, _that_ isn't the point! I'm not
bragging about my conquests!... The point is that _these marks are ten
years old and they weren't there last night_!"
I tried to free myself from his grip, but he wouldn't let me go. He ran
agitatedly on, repeating himself over and over again.
"There isn't much imagination about _that_, is there? _That_ isn't
fancy, is it? _That_ doesn't happen to any man any day, does it? A man
would be likely to remember _that_, wouldn't he? He wouldn't forget it,
if it was only for the shame of it! Is _that_ just ordinary memory? And
how would you feel when everything was healed over and forgotten, and
you'd settled decently down, and hoped everything was forgiven you--and
then you were to be dragged back over the ploughshares like that! I tell
you you've got to see it all crowding back on you again, before you
realise that forgetting's the greatest happiness in life!... I tell you
on my word of honour that that happened ten years ago, when I was
thirty-five before, and that it wasn't there last night! _Now_ tell me
I'm drunk or dreaming!"
Stupefied I stared at him. The issue was plain. Either he was telling
the truth, or he was not. Either those marks were as recent as they
looked or as old as he said. He was to be believed or disbelieved. There
was no middle way.
And my heart sank like a stone in my breast as suddenly I found myself
believing him. He saw that I did, and fumblingly sought to fasten the
collar again. But he had torn both buttonhole and band, and could only
cover up those shameful marks by turning up the collar of his dark blue
jacket. He sat with his collar turned up for the rest of our talk.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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