"Yes, my strength came on me like Samson's that morning," he continued. "I was scared of it myself. I didn't know what was happening, you see. I'm simply trying to tell you the first time I knew there was no mistake about it." I found my voice. "But why did you tear the book? I--I hope you weren't looking for the author this afternoon to tear her too!" I laughed nervously. He turned earnest eyes on me. "I swear I never meant her, George--in that accursed _Ape_ book of mine, I mean. Of course she must have thought I did, and--and--well, to be perfectly honest, I'm not quite sure she didn't start me on the idea. You've got to start somewhere. But I went over it a dozen times afterwards. _Am_ I the man to take it out of a woman in print?" he appealed piteously. He was not, and I tried to reassure him; but he broke in anew. "Why, I'd forgotten all about her before I'd written a couple of chapters! You're a novelist; you understand. If only she'd.... But I suppose I left something in--some damnable wounding oversight--but I can't find it even yet"--he glared round the room as if in search of a copy of his own book to submit to cross-examination all over again. And then abruptly he seemed to put the book aside. His manner changed. He lifted himself from the cushions and spoke in a strained voice. "Look here, George," he said hurriedly, jumping from point to point, "let's be getting on. I may be having to turn you out soon; this may be no place for you. Where had we got to? Where I tore that book. You were asking me when I first felt sure of all this. Well, it wasn't just the book, it was what happened inside me as well. Something gave way. I was afraid. I'm afraid now. You've known me a long time, George; known scandalous things about me, I'm afraid. But a man can live a pretty queer sort of life and yet manage to keep something safe from harm all the time. It's that that I'm hanging on to now. You see, I've never had any habits or customs. I've never been the millionth man--the fellow who repeats what they've all said before him. Every morning of my life I've tried to look at the universe as if I'd never seen it before--as if it had never been seen by anybody before. Dashed risky way of living.... But I managed to keep something clean inside me ... thank God ... need it ... badly ... no time to go into all that now...." He muttered unintelligibly. He was not actually looking at his watch, and yet he gave the impression of having his eye on the passage of time. Suddenly he went on with a new spurt.