"What's the time now? Never mind--but I keep a diary now, you see. Have
to. Memory isn't to be trusted in a matter of this kind. And speaking of
memory, it'll be hell's delight if that goes. You see, this isn't 1920
for me; it's 1910, and I shan't have written _The Hands of Esau_ for
another three years yet. Or you can call it both 1920 and 1910 if you
like. Bit mixing, isn't it? It's demoniac. I call it----" he called it
something rather too violent for me to set down, and I have omitted one
or two other strong expressions that had begun to creep into his speech.
"And just one other thing before I shove you out," he positively raced
on. "I said I should die at sixteen. If it comes to the worst I hope to
God I shall; none of your scarlet second childhoods for me! But how the
Erebus and Terror do I know when sixteen will come?... I say, where are
you sleeping to-night? Perhaps you'd better---- Have some whisky. If
only we had that damned datum point! Do have some whisky. Have the----
lot. Are those curtains drawn? Take my key and lock me in and give it to
Mrs Hyems downstairs. Where's that diary of mine?"
Then all in a moment he was on his feet. Without ceremony he had thrust
my hat into my hands. Comparatively gently, seeing what his strength
was, he was hustling me towards the door.
"Sorry, old man"--the words came thickly--"thanks awfully--I expect I
shall be all right--don't bother about me.... But I shall have to move
sooner or later--looks so dashed queer one man coming in and another
going out--too comic if they arrested me on a charge of making away with
myself.... See you soon--yourself out--quick, if you don't mind--go,
go!"
The next moment I was out on his landing. He had almost carried me out.
I heard the locking of his door, but after that, though I listened,
nothing.
V
Presently it occurred to me that there was nothing to be gained by
waiting. It did not seem to be an occasion for calling for help, and if
there was something he did not wish me to see it was hardly a friend's
part to stand there listening for it. Slowly I descended past the closed
offices of the cinema and variety agents and let myself out into the
street. Involuntarily my eyes went up to his window, but no light showed
there, and I remembered that I had drawn his curtains myself. Among a
knot of people who waited for omnibuses I stood on the kerb, lost in
thought.
It was after eleven o'clock, and Haslemere was now out of the question.
I could have got a bed at my Club, but I vaguely felt that there might
be something rather more to the purpose to do than that. For some
minutes I couldn't for the life of me think what it was. Four o'clock of
that afternoon seemed an age ago.... Then I remembered. Madge Aird might
at least be able to throw a little light on the Daphne Bassett aspect of
the affair. She had said she would be at home that evening, and I can
always have a bed at the Airds' for the asking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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