"I'll tell you. You and Derry--all the decent men--a toy dog fetches you
every time. You're all so, _so_ kind! You see tragedies and empty
cradles and all the rest of it straight away. And perhaps once in a
while you're right. But you can take it from me you're wrong this time.
I've known her all my life, and I don't believe she ever for a single
moment wanted a child. She'd never have put up with the bother of one.
So Derry's worrying all about nothing. All that sticks in her throat is
that she imagines she's been pilloried as not being able to have one.
Her vanity was hurt, not her motherhood at all. Now that she's got rid
of that bookful of bile I think she's a perfectly happy woman. Her days
are just one succession of shopping and matinées and calls and
manicuring and Turkish baths and getting rid of Bassett's money. It was
just the same during the war--flag-days and driving convalescents about,
and bits of canteen-work and committees by the score.... Oh, Derry
needn't worry his head; tragedy's quite out of the picture! Let's have
the truth. No weeping Niobe--just scents and powders and Puppetty and an
imaginary grievance--that's her."
I think it is my own sex that is the merciful one, at any rate to woman.
Man has made radiant veils for her, has shut his eyes to this or that
stark aspect of her, because the world has to go on by his efforts and
he cannot afford to begin his scheme of things all over again every time
he sees the red light of the prime in a woman's eyes. Julia Oliphant had
spoken cruelly, ruthlessly, without decency; and I now knew why. No
woman cares that a wrong is done in the abstract. Her bitterness and
hate ever mean that someone dear to her has been subjected to indignity
and pain. And suddenly I rose from my seat, crossed to the settee, and,
sitting down by Julia Oliphant's side, did a thing I am not in the
habit of doing upon a short acquaintance. I took both her hands into
mine.
With as little hesitation as I had taken them her fingers closed on
mine. And I fancied the quick strong pressure answered the question I
was going to ask her before ever my lips spoke it. It had all been there
months before--all prepared and promised in that first steady intimate
look across the rosy-shaded candles of that dinner-table. I spoke quite
quietly.
"Isn't there something I'd better know--and hadn't you better tell me
now?" I said.
Again that firm cool pressure of the fingers. The tired eyes looked
gratefully into mine.
"I always knew you'd be like that if only----"
"Then tell me. Because when you've done I've something to tell you."
God knows what fires were instantly ablaze in the depths of the eyes.
"About him?" broke instantly from her lips.
"You tell me first."
The fires died down, and the voice dropped again.
"Tell you? I don't mind telling you.... Of course; all my life; ever
since we were children together. Not that he ever gave me a thought. But
that made no difference."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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