English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
Wilfrid Pigeoncote had suddenly become heir to his uncle, Sir Wilfrid
Pigeoncote, on the death of his cousin, Major Wilfrid Pigeoncote, who had
succumbed to the after-effects of a polo accident. (A Wilfrid Pigeoncote
had covered himself with honours in the course of Marlborough’s
campaigns, and the name Wilfrid had been a baptismal weakness in the
family ever since.) The new heir to the family dignity and estates was a
young man of about five-and-twenty, who was known more by reputation than
by person to a wide circle of cousins and kinsfolk. And the reputation
was an unpleasant one. The numerous other Wilfrids in the family were
distinguished one from another chiefly by the names of their residences
or professions, as Wilfrid of Hubbledown, and young Wilfrid the Gunner,
but this particular scion was known by the ignominious and expressive
label of Wilfrid the Snatcher. From his late schooldays onward he had
been possessed by an acute and obstinate form of kleptomania; he had the
acquisitive instinct of the collector without any of the collector’s
discrimination. Anything that was smaller and more portable than a
sideboard, and above the value of ninepence, had an irresistible
attraction for him, provided that it fulfilled the necessary condition of
belonging to some one else. On the rare occasions when he was included
in a country-house party, it was usual and almost necessary for his host,
or some member of the family, to make a friendly inquisition through his
baggage on the eve of his departure, to see if he had packed up “by
mistake” any one else’s property. The search usually produced a large
and varied yield.
“This is funny,” said Peter Pigeoncote to his wife, some half-hour after
their conversation; “here’s a telegram from Wilfrid, saying he’s passing
through here in his motor, and would like to stop and pay us his
respects. Can stay for the night if it doesn’t inconvenience us. Signed
‘Wilfrid Pigeoncote.’ Must be the Snatcher; none of the others have a
motor. I suppose he’s bringing us a present for the silver wedding.”
“Good gracious!” said Mrs. Peter, as a thought struck her; “this is
rather an awkward time to have a person with his failing in the house.
All those silver presents set out in the drawing-room, and others coming
by every post; I hardly know what we’ve got and what are still to come.
We can’t lock them all up; he’s sure to want to see them.”
“We must keep a sharp look-out, that’s all,” said Peter reassuringly.
“But these practised kleptomaniacs are so clever,” said his wife,
apprehensively, “and it will be so awkward if he suspects that we are
watching him.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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