English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
Awkwardness was indeed the prevailing note that evening when the passing
traveller was being entertained. The talk flitted nervously and
hurriedly from one impersonal topic to another. The guest had none of
the furtive, half-apologetic air that his cousins had rather expected to
find; he was polite, well-assured, and, perhaps, just a little inclined
to “put on side”. His hosts, on the other hand, wore an uneasy manner
that might have been the hallmark of conscious depravity. In the
drawing-room, after dinner, their nervousness and awkwardness increased.
“Oh, we haven’t shown you the silver-wedding presents,” said Mrs. Peter,
suddenly, as though struck by a brilliant idea for entertaining the
guest; “here they all are. Such nice, useful gifts. A few duplicates,
of course.”
“Seven cream jugs,” put in Peter.
“Yes, isn’t it annoying,” went on Mrs. Peter; “seven of them. We feel
that we must live on cream for the rest of our lives. Of course, some of
them can be changed.”
Wilfrid occupied himself chiefly with such of the gifts as were of
antique interest, carrying one or two of them over to the lamp to examine
their marks. The anxiety of his hosts at these moments resembled the
solicitude of a cat whose newly born kittens are being handed round for
inspection.
“Let me see; did you give me back the mustard-pot? This is its place
here,” piped Mrs. Peter.
“Sorry. I put it down by the claret-jug,” said Wilfrid, busy with
another object.
“Oh, just let me have the sugar-sifter again,” asked Mrs. Peter, dogged
determination showing through her nervousness; “I must label it who it
comes from before I forget.”
Vigilance was not completely crowned with a sense of victory. After they
had said “Good-night” to their visitor, Mrs. Peter expressed her
conviction that he had taken something.
“I fancy, by his manner, that there was something up,” corroborated her
husband; “do you miss anything?”
Mrs. Peters hastily counted the array of gifts.
“I can only make it thirty-four, and I think it should be thirty-five,”
she announced; “I can’t remember if thirty-five includes the Archdeacon’s
cruet-stand that hasn’t arrived yet.”
“How on earth are we to know?” said Peter. “The mean pig hasn’t brought
us a present, and I’m hanged if he shall carry one off.”
“To-morrow, when he’s having his bath,” said Mrs. Peter excitedly, “he’s
sure to leave his keys somewhere, and we can go through his portmanteau.
It’s the only thing to do.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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