English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
The verdict and sentence were made known to the public at twenty minutes
past five in the afternoon; at half-past five a dense crowd was massed
outside the Prime Minister’s residence lustily singing, to the air of
“Trelawney”:
“And should our Hero rot in gaol,
For e’en a single day,
There’s Fifteen Hundred Voting Men
Will vote the other way.”
“Fifteen hundred,” said the Prime Minister, with a shudder; “it’s too
horrible to think of. Our majority last time was only a thousand and
seven.”
“The poll opens at eight to-morrow morning,” said the Chief Organiser;
“we must have him out by 7 a.m.”
“Seven-thirty,” amended the Prime Minister; “we must avoid any appearance
of precipitancy.”
“Not later than seven-thirty, then,” said the Chief Organiser; “I have
promised the agent down there that he shall be able to display posters
announcing ‘Platterbaff is Out,’ before the poll opens. He said it was
our only chance of getting a telegram ‘Radprop is In’ to-night.”
At half-past seven the next morning the Prime Minister and the Chief
Organiser sat at breakfast, making a perfunctory meal, and awaiting the
return of the Home Secretary, who had gone in person to superintend the
releasing of Platterbaff. Despite the earliness of the hour a small
crowd had gathered in the street outside, and the horrible menacing
Trelawney refrain of the “Fifteen Hundred Voting Men” came in a steady,
monotonous chant.
“They will cheer presently when they hear the news,” said the Prime
Minister hopefully; “hark! They are booing some one now! That must be
McKenna.”
The Home Secretary entered the room a moment later, disaster written on
his face.
“He won’t go!” he exclaimed.
“Won’t go? Won’t leave gaol?”
“He won’t go unless he has a brass band. He says he never has left
prison without a brass band to play him out, and he’s not going to go
without one now.”
“But surely that sort of thing is provided by his supporters and
admirers?” said the Prime Minister; “we can hardly be supposed to supply
a released prisoner with a brass band. How on earth could we defend it
on the Estimates?”
“His supporters say it is up to us to provide the music,” said the Home
Secretary; “they say we put him in prison, and it’s our affair to see
that he leaves it in a respectable manner. Anyway, he won’t go unless he
has a band.”
The telephone squealed shrilly; it was a trunk call from Nemesis.
“Poll opens in five minutes. Is Platterbaff out yet? In Heaven’s name,
why—”
The Chief Organiser rang off.
“This is not a moment for standing on dignity,” he observed bluntly;
“musicians must be supplied at once. Platterbaff must have his band.”
“Where are you going to find the musicians?” asked the Home Secretary
wearily; “we can’t employ a military band, in fact, I don’t think he’d
have one if we offered it, and there ain’t any others. There’s a
musicians’ strike on, I suppose you know.”
“Can’t you get a strike permit?” asked the Organiser.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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