English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
Sir Lulworth Quayne sat in the lounge of his favourite restaurant, the
Gallus Bankiva, discussing the weaknesses of the world with his nephew,
who had lately returned from a much-enlivened exile in the wilds of
Mexico. It was that blessed season of the year when the asparagus and
the plover’s egg are abroad in the land, and the oyster has not yet
withdrawn into it’s summer entrenchments, and Sir Lulworth and his nephew
were in that enlightened after-dinner mood when politics are seen in
their right perspective, even the politics of Mexico.
“Most of the revolutions that take place in this country nowadays,” said
Sir Lulworth, “are the product of moments of legislative panic. Take,
for instance, one of the most dramatic reforms that has been carried
through Parliament in the lifetime of this generation. It happened
shortly after the coal strike, of unblessed memory. To you, who have
been plunged up to the neck in events of a more tangled and tumbled
description, the things I am going to tell you of may seem of secondary
interest, but after all we had to live in the midst of them.”
Sir Lulworth interrupted himself for a moment to say a few kind words to
the liqueur brandy he had just tasted, and them resumed his narrative.
“Whether one sympathises with the agitation for female suffrage or not
one has to admit that its promoters showed tireless energy and
considerable enterprise in devising and putting into action new methods
for accomplishing their ends. As a rule they were a nuisance and a
weariness to the flesh, but there were times when they verged on the
picturesque. There was the famous occasion when they enlivened and
diversified the customary pageantry of the Royal progress to open
Parliament by letting loose thousands of parrots, which had been
carefully trained to scream ‘Votes for women,’ and which circled round
his Majesty’s coach in a clamorous cloud of green, and grey and scarlet.
It was really rather a striking episode from the spectacular point of
view; unfortunately, however, for its devisers, the secret of their
intentions had not been well kept, and their opponents let loose at the
same moment a rival swarm of parrots, which screeched ‘I _don’t_ think’
and other hostile cries, thereby robbing the demonstration of the
unanimity which alone could have made it politically impressive. In the
process of recapture the birds learned a quantity of additional language
which unfitted them for further service in the Suffragette cause; some of
the green ones were secured by ardent Home Rule propagandists and trained
to disturb the serenity of Orange meetings by pessimistic reflections on
Sir Edward Carson’s destination in the life to come. In fact, the bird
in politics is a factor that seems to have come to stay; quite recently,
at a political gathering held in a dimly-lighted place of worship, the
congregation gave a respectful hearing for nearly ten minutes to a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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