Some writers have raised objections to the use of the instrument called the Punch and Judy Squeaker, on account of the greater difficulty in articulating the words used by Mr. Punch. From the earliest times within the reach of our memory the familiar squeak of Mr. Punch has always greeted our ear. We therefore say by all means let it so continue. A little practice will soon enable you to articulate the sound of words intelligibly, and until you are proficient in its use, the answer of the other figure will convey the meaning. Thus, Punch, in his squeaking voice, asks for the baby. Judy answers, "Oh, Mr. Punch, you want the baby, do you? Well, I'm afraid it's asleep, but I'll go and see." Let the squeaker be (_a good one_) placed on the centre of the tongue, held close to the roof of the mouth and the words spoken through it. It will readily rest itself on the tongue when the answering voice is made. The best squeakers are made of silver; they are fully four times thicker in substance than those that are made of tin or zinc, hence they cannot so easily be crushed up, and only require rebinding with tape about once every year. A second squeaker should also be in the performer's vest pocket for instant readiness in case squeaker No. 1 should be dropped out of the performer's mouth. Having instructed the reader how to build a theatre, and traced the history, with the character and deportment, of Mr. Punch, we shall now proceed to place his performances upon record. It is time to do so for the benefit of posterity; lest, as society gradually acquires a more superfine polish than it even now possesses, it should be impossible, hereafter, to print what is fortunately yet considered innocent and harmless. Addison tells us that "the merry people of the world are the amiable," and in the language of "a man forbid," we address ourselves to those, "Chi amano, senza smorfia e ipocrisia Gl'innocenti piaceri e l'allegria." [Illustration] THE TRAGICAL ACTS, OR COMICAL TRAGEDIES OF PUNCH AND JUDY. PREFACE.