PUNCH (_looks every way but the right direction; he at last sees the GHOST; he trembles, saying_). Oh, dear! oh, dear! I've seen a ghost, ghost, ghost! [_Exit GHOST._ SHOWMAN. What is the matter, Mr. Punch? PUNCH. I'm sick! I'm sick! I've seen a ghost. (_he lies down on the stage._) SHOWMAN. Well, call the doctor. PUNCH. Doctor! Doctor! [Illustration] _Enter the DOCTOR._ DOCTOR. Who is that calling the doctor? PUNCH. It is me. DOCTOR. Where are you hurt? Is it here? (_touching his head._) PUNCH. No; lower. DOCTOR. Here? (_touching his breast._) PUNCH. No; lower, lower! DOCTOR. Here, then? (_going downwards._) PUNCH. No; lower still. DOCTOR. Then is your handsome leg broken? PUNCH. No; higher. (_As the DOCTOR leans over PUNCH'S legs to examine them, PUNCH hits him in the eye._) DOCTOR. Oh, my eye! my eye! PUNCH. Aye, you're right enough; it is my eye, and Betty Martin, too. DOCTOR. Let me feel your pulse, Mr. Punch. PUNCH (_wriggling his body as he lies, says_). Oh, dear! so sick! so sick! DOCTOR (_feeling PUNCH'S pulse_). Why, Mr. Punch, you are all right; forty-five to the minute. PUNCH. Oh, no! I'm dead! I'm killed! DOCTOR. That won't do, Mr. Punch; dead men don't talk. PUNCH (_jumping up with a lively gait_). Ah! that is so. DOCTOR. Then, Mr. Punch, since you are not dead, pay me my fee and let me go. PUNCH. Your fee? DOCTOR. Yes, my fee. PUNCH. How much? DOCTOR. Five dollars. PUNCH. Five dollars! Five dollars! Well, I've not got it. DOCTOR. Well, then, go down and get it. PUNCH. Ah! that is so! I'll just go down and bring up the money. [_Exit._ _Re-enter PUNCH, with a stick._ PUNCH. Five dollars? DOCTOR. Yes, and little enough, too. PUNCH (_hitting the DOCTOR on the head_). One, two, three! DOCTOR. Oh! golly, golly, Mr. Punch, what are you about? PUNCH. Four, five, six dollars--one for good measure. (_The DOCTOR falls lifeless on left-hand of the stage, and is left lying to count up in the next act._) _Enter SCARAMOUCH._ SCARA. Ah, ah! Mr. Punch, I've found you out. That's the way you killed my poor dog, is it? PUNCH (_striking him on the head_). Yes; just so. (_SCARAMOUCH falls dead beside the DOCTOR. PUNCH counts them up, "_One, two._"_) _Enter IRISHMAN._ IRISH. Hey day, Mr. Punch, I'm glad to see you. (_he shakes hands._) PUNCH. Ah, ah! Paddy, you look merry this morning. What brings you this way? IRISH. Only a little on the spree, and I'm going to tell you a little story. PUNCH. Well, go ahead. IRISH. The other day, Mr. Punch, as I was going through the forest, I met little Sammy Slick. He had in his hand a pretty little likeness of his wife. He kissed it o'er and o'er. "Just like her," says he. PUNCH. Just like who? IRISH. Why, just like his wife. PUNCH. Ah! just so. (_he gives a dance, then listens._)