The tragical acts, or comical tragedies of Punch and JudyJudd, W. J. (William J.)
History
The tragical acts, or comical tragedies of Punch and Judy
Judd, W. J. (William J.)
Punch and Judy; Puppet plays
(_PUNCH perceiving him, retreats behind the side curtain, and
remains upon the watch. The SERVANT does the same, but leaves the
end of the stick visible. PUNCH again comes forward, sets down his
bell very gently, and creeps across the stage, marking his steps
with his hands upon the platform, to ascertain whereabouts his
enemy is. He then returns to his bell, takes it up, and, going
quietly over the stage, hits the SERVANT a heavy blow through the
curtain, and exit, ringing his bell on the opposite side._)
SERVANT. You one nasty, noisy, impudent blackguard. Me catch you yet.
(_hides again as before._)
(_Enter PUNCH, and strikes him as before with the bell. The SERVANT
pops out, and aims a blow, but not quickly enough to hit PUNCH, who
exit._)
SERVANT. You scoundrel, rascal, vagabond, blackguard and liar, you
shall pay for this, depend upon it.
(_He stands back. Enter PUNCH, with his bell, who, seeing the
SERVANT with his stick, retreats instantly, and returns, also armed
with a bludgeon, which he does not at first show. The SERVANT comes
forward, and strikes PUNCH on the head so hard a blow that it seems
to confuse him._)
SERVANT. Me teach you how to ring your nasty, noisy bell near de
gentil-men's houses.
PUNCH (_recovering_). Two can play at that. (_hits the SERVANT with his
stick. A conflict--after a long struggle, during which the combatants
exchange staves, and perform various maneuvers, PUNCH gains the
victory, and knocks his antagonist down on the platform, by repeated
blows on the head._)
SERVANT. Oh, dear! Oh, my head!
PUNCH. And oh, your tail, too. (_hitting him there_) How do you like
that, and that, and that? (_hitting him each time_) Do you like that
music better than the other? This is my bell, (_hits_) this my organ,
(_hits_) this my fiddle, (_hits_) this my drum, (_hits_) and this my
trumpet, (_hits_) there! A whole concert for you.
SERVANT. No more! me dead.
PUNCH. Quite dead?
SERVANT. Yes, quite.
PUNCH. Then there's the last for luck. (_hits him and kills him. He
then takes hold of the body by its legs, swings it round two or three
times, and throws it away._)
_Enter an old BLIND MAN, feeling his way with a staff; he goes to
the opposite side, when he knocks._
BLIND MAN. Poor blind man, Mr. Punch; I hope you'll bestow your
charity; I hear that you are very good and kind to the poor, Mr. Punch;
pray have pity upon me, and may you never know the loss of your tender
eyes! (_listens, putting his ear to the side, and hearing nobody coming
knocks again_) I lost my sight by the sands in Egypt; poor blind man.
Pray, Mr. Punch, have compassion upon the poor stone blind. (_coughs,
and spits over the side_) Only a halfpenny to buy something for my bad
cough. Only one halfpenny. (_knocks again._)
_Enter PUNCH, and receives one of the knocks, intended for the
door, upon his head._
PUNCH. Hollo! you old blind blackguard, can't you see?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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