If he likes you he will procure anything one desires from a dozen fresh eggs, a Latin recipe for rheumatic gout to a flagon of nut brown ale, and “Here’s the old spite to you all”. The history of the Emerald Isle is in his book-case, her map is on his desk, and the Irishman’s ready answer still springs quick from the tongue of this lively, eighty-four year old colt, ex-conductor John Quirk. ❦ ❦ ❦ THE LUCK OF A LIGHT-HEARTED “LANDLUBBER” [Illustration: Avast, my hearties, port your helm. The sun is over the yard-arm.] C. & N.W.R. Conductor Cornelius O’Konor, from Oconomawoc, a dry land pilot, visited under pressure, a Chicago departmental store recently with his wife. In her dauntless quest for the elusive bargain she led him here and marched him there: into the basement and up the stairs until fatigue made him hanker for home. Refusing her coaxing to make one last trip to the roof before the store closed, O’Konor dropped on a nearby chair while his wife made the ascent for a little “burnt onion” dream of a hat. Her spouse relaxed, tilted back his chair, cupped his “Christie” on his knees and unexpectedly slept the sleep of the just conductors. When Madam O’K---- returned in the wake of a stream of charitable departing shoppers and awakened her lord, she found in his hat $3.49. Now he wants her to spend their vacation there. SATURDAY NIGHT KNIGHTS OF THE SWINGING LANTERN [Illustration: “GRAND TRUNK” CONDUCTORS DAVID J. DINAN; HUGH O’DONNELL; ALEXANDER MUIR; ALLAN EBY; WILLIAM FROST; JAMES GUTHRIE; WELLAND STRONG] O we are merry men from Mars, An active squad of light hussars, Schooled in tact and the three big R’s And how to steer by moon and stars. Some think we haunt the gay bazaars, And likewise smoke long black cigars, But in our brood no Lochinvars Toast yonder moon and strum guitars. Our task is a life of jolts and jars And each one bears his grist of scars-- The brand of couplings, beams and bars. Knights of the punch--our home the cars, We know the brig from the keel to spars, And there we reign like blooming Czars. Pilots, moguls, airship tars, We guide you safely to planet Mars O’er the trail of the swinging lanterns. THE CREDIT VALLEY RAILWAY Toronto to St. Thomas via Woodstock Inauguration of Toronto-Milton sections, September 19th, 1879 The Marquis of Lorne graced the ceremonies with his presence and traveled from Toronto to Milton and return by special train. [Illustration]