GUIDE. Ah, you unnerstan' nossing at all! Leesten, I dell you vonce more. My vader---- PODB. No, look here, my friend; you go and tell _that_ gentleman all about it (_indicating_ CULCHARD); he's very interested in hearing what Napoleon wore or didn't wear. [_The_ GUIDE _takes possession of_ CULCHARD _once more, who submits, under the impression that_ MISS TROTTER _is a fellow-sufferer_. GUIDE (_concluding a vivid account of the fight at Houguymont_). Bot ven zey com qvite nearer, zey vind ze rade line no ze Inglis soldiers--nossing bot a breek vall, viz ze moskets--"Prown Pesses," you coal dem--shdeekin out of ze 'oles! Ze 'oles schdill dere. Dat vas Houguymont, in the orshairde. Now you com viz me and see ze lion. Ze dail, two piece; ze bodi, von piece; ze ball, von piece. I sank you, Sare. 'Ope you com again soon. [CULCHARD _discovers that the_ TROTTERS _and_ PODBURY _have gone down some time ago. At the foot of the steps he finds his friend waiting for him, alone._ CULCH. (_with stiff politeness_). Sorry you considered it necessary to stay behind on my account. I see your American friends have already started for the station. PODB. (_gloomily_). There were only two seats on that coach, and they wouldn't wait for the next. I don't know why, unless it was that they saw _you_ coming down the steps. She can't stand you at any price. [Illustration: "LEESTEN, I DELL YOU VONCE MORE."] CULCH. (_with some heat_). Just as likely she had had enough of your buffoonery! PODB. (_with provoking good humour_). Come, old chap, don't get your shirt out with _me_. Not my fault if she's found out you think yourself too big a swell for her, is it? CULCH. (_hotly_). When did I say so--or think so? It's what you've told her about me, and I must say I call it---- PODB. Don't talk bosh! Who said she was forward and bad form and all the rest of it in the courtyard that first evening? She was close by, and heard every word of it, I shouldn't wonder. CULCH. (_colouring_). It's not of vital importance if she did. (_Whistling._) Few-fee-fee-foo-foodle-di-fee-di-fa-foo. PODB. Not a bit--to her. Better step out if we mean to catch that train. (_Humming._) La-di-loodle-lumpty-leedle-um-ti-loo! [_They step out_, PODBURY _humming pleasantly and_ CULCHARD _whistling viciously, without further conversation, until they arrive at Braine l'Alleud Station--and discover that they have just missed their train_. CHAPTER IV. Podbury is unpleasantly Surprised. SCENE--_The Wiertz Museum at Brussels, a large and well-lighted gallery containing the works of the celebrated Belgian, which are reducing a limited number of spectators to the usual degree of stupefaction. Enter_ CULCHARD, _who seats himself on a central ottoman_.