"YES, SIR" 3 "WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WERE MY TUTOR" 11 "LEESTEN, I DELL YOU VONCE MORE" 17 "I PRESUME, THOUGH, HE SLEPT BAD, NIGHTS" 22 MR. CYRUS K. TROTTER DISCUSSING NEW YORK HOTELS 26 "GOOD HEAVENS, IT--IT'S GONE!" 33 "PUTS ME IN MIND O' THE BEST PART O' BOX 'ILL" 39 "ER--I HAVE BROUGHT YOU THE PHILOSOPHICAL WORK I MENTIONED" 46 PODBURY GRAPPLING WITH THE EPITOME OF SPENCER 50 THE CURATE GETS UP AND QUITS THE ROOM WITH DIGNITY 57 "IT DOES SEEM RATHER ROUGH ON FELLOWS, DON'T YOU KNOW" 63 AN ELDERLY ENGLISHWOMAN IS SITTING ON HER TRUNK 66 STRUGGLING WITH A LONG PRINTED PANORAMA 73 "HOW LITTLE YOU KNOW ME!" 79 "I KNOCK OFF QUITE A NUMBER OF THESE WHILE I'M ABROAD LIKE THIS" 84 "BOUND TO TEACH YOU A LOT, SEEING ALL THE OLD ALTAR-PIECES I DO!" 90 "I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE ACQUAINTED WITH A PAPER CALLED THE 'PENNY PATRICIAN'?" 95 SHE PASSES ON WITH HER CHIN IN THE AIR! 101 "BELLISSIMO SCULTORE!" 107 "HI! OTEZ-MOI CECI!" 113 "I GUESS YOU WANT TO COLOGNE _YOUR_ CHEEKS--THEY'RE DREADFUL LUMPY" 120 "I GUESS YOU'RE THE MOST UNSELFISH SAINT ON TWO LEGS!" 127 A SOLEMN GENTLEMAN STRUGGLING WITH A TROUBLESOME COUGH 132 "A MEAN CUSS? ME! REALLY--!" 137 HYPATIA, BY JOVE! NARROW SHAVE THAT! 143 READS WITH A GRADUALLY LENGTHENING COUNTENANCE 150 THE TRAVELLING COMPANIONS CHAPTER I. _Extremes Meet._ SCENE--_An Excursion Agent's Offices. Behind the counters polite and patient Clerks are besieged by a crowd of Intending Tourists, all asking questions at once._ FIRST INTENDING TOURIST. Here--have you made out that estimate for me yet? CLERK. In one moment, Sir. (_He refers to a list, turns over innumerable books, jots down columns of francs, marks, and florins; reduces them to English money, and adds them up._) First class fares on the Rhine, Danube and Black Sea steamers, I think you said, second class rail, and postwagen? FIRST INT. T. I did say so, I believe; but you had better make it second class all through, and I can always pay the difference if I want to. [_The_ CLERK _alters the sums accordingly, and adds up again._ CLERK. Fifty-five pounds fourteen and a penny, Sir. Shall I make you out the tickets now?