MR. T. (_to_ PODBURY). My only darter, Sir, and a real good girl. We come over from the States, crossed a month ago to-day, and seen a heap already. Been runnin' all over Scotland and England, and kind of looked round Ireland and Wales, and now what _we've_ got to do is to see as much as we can of Germany and Switzerland and It'ly, and get some idea of France before we start home this fall. I guess we're both of us gettin' pretty considerable homesick already. My darter was sayin' to me on'y this evening at _table d'hote_, "Father," she sez, "the vurry first thing we'll do when we get home is to go and hev a good square meal of creamed oysters and clams with buckwheat cakes and maple syrup." Don't seem as if we _could_ git along without maple syrup _much_ longer. (MISS TROTTER _returns._) You never mean going out without your gums? [Illustration: "WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WERE MY TUTOR!"] [_He roars._ MISS T. I guess it's not damp here--any. (_To_ PODBURY.) Now you're going to be _Mary_, and father and I have got to be the little lambs and follow you around. [_They go out, leaving_ CULCHARD _annoyed with himself and everybody else, and utterly unable to settle down to his sonnet again._ IN AN UPPER CORRIDOR TWO HOURS LATER. CULCH. (_coming upon_ PODBURY). So you've got rid of your Americans at last, eh? PODB. _I_ was in no hurry, I can tell you. She's a ripping little girl--tremendous fun. What do you think she asked me about _you_? CULCH. (_stiff, but flattered_). I wasn't aware she had honoured me by her notice. What _was_ it? PODB. Said you had a sort of schoolmaster look, and wanted to know if you were my tutor. My tutor! [_He roars._ CULCH. I hope you--ah--undeceived her? PODB. Rather! Told her it was t'other way round, and I was looking after _you_. Said you were suffering from melancholia, but were not absolutely dangerous. CULCH. If that's your idea of a joke, all I can say is---- [_He chokes with rage._ PODB. (_innocently_). Why, my dear chap, I thought you wanted 'em kept out of your way! [CULCHARD _slams his bedroom door with temper, leaving_ PODBURY _outside, still chuckling._ CHAPTER III. _Culchard comes out of his Shell._ SCENE--_On the Coach from Braine l'Alleud to Waterloo. The vehicle has a Belgian driver, but the conductor is a true-born Briton._ MR. CYRUS K. TROTTER _and his daughter are behind with_ PODBURY. CULCHARD, _who is not as yet sufficiently on speaking terms with his friend to ask for an introduction, is on the box-seat in front._ MR. TROTTER. How are you getting along, Maud? Your seat pretty comfortable?