Which shall I censure the more, the stupidity of the ideas, or of the words? You have heard about the ideas; here are illustrations of his words. He says, “It seems proper for our Senate to be adorned” (as though it were not assuredly adorned), and to be adorned forsooth with “glory.” And what is being done he wishes understood as already done; as, “we have proclaimed” for “we proclaim”: for the speech sounds better that way. And he puts the same act in the present and in the past tense; as, “we decree,” and “we have decreed.” And everything is stuffed with these words, “we decree,” “we decorate,” “imperial,” “imperial rank,” “power,” “glory.” He uses “extat” for “est,” though “extare” means to stand out or to be above; and “nempe” for “scilicet” [that is, “indeed” for “to wit”]; and “concubitores” [translated above, bed-watchers] for “contubernales” [companions or attendants]. “Concubitores” are literally those who sleep together and have intercourse; they must certainly be understood to be harlots. He adds those with whom he may sleep, I suppose, that he may not fear nocturnal phantoms.[482] He adds “chamberlains”; he adds “door-keepers.” It is not an idle question to ask why he mentions these details. He is setting up, not an old man, but a ward or a young son, and like a doting father, himself arranges for him everything of which his tender age has need, as David did for Solomon! And that the story may be filled in in every respect, horses are given the clergy,—lest they sit on asses’ colts in that asinine way of Christ’s! And they are given horses, not covered nor saddled with coverings of white, but decorated with white color. And what coverings! Not horse-cloths, either Babylonian or any other kind, but “mappulae” [translated above, saddle-cloths] and “linteamina” [linen cloths or sheets, translated above, linen]. “Mappae” [serviettes] go with the table, “linteamina” with the couch. And as though there were doubt as to their color, he explains, “that is to say, of the whitest color.” Talk worthy of Constantine; fluency worthy of Lactantius; not only in the other phrases, but also in that one, “may mount mounts”! And when he had said nothing about the garb of senators, the broad stripe, the purple, and the rest, he thought he had to talk about their shoes; nor does he specify the crescents [which were on their shoes], but “socks,” or rather he says “with felt socks,” and then as usual he explains, “that is, with white linen,” as though socks were of linen! I cannot at the moment think where I have found the word “udones” [socks], except in Valerius Martial, whose distich inscribed “Cilician Socks” runs: “Wool did not produce these, but the beard of an ill-smelling goat. Would that the sole in the gulf of the Cinyps might lie.”[483] So the “socks” are not linen, nor white, with which this two-legged ass says, not that the feet of senators are clad, but that senators are distinguished.