Women -- Suffrage -- Great Britain -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Great Britain -- Fiction
And at the door she turned and looked at them with her sorrowful, lucid,
transparent eyes.
Then she went, leaving the door open behind her. She left it open on
purpose, so that she might hear their voices, and look down into the
room on her way upstairs. Besides, she always hoped that somebody would
call her back again.
She lingered at the foot of the stairs till Bartie got up and shut the
door on her. She lingered at the turn of the stairs and on the landing.
But nobody ever called her back again.
And nobody but Nicky knew what she was afraid of.
Veronica was sitting up in the cot that used to be Nicky's when he was
little. Nicky, rather cold in his pyjamas, sat on the edge of it beside
her. A big, yellow, tremendous moon hung in the sky outside the window,
behind a branch of the tree of Heaven, and looked at them.
Veronica crouched sideways on her pillow in a corner of the cot, her
legs doubled up tight under her tiny body, her shoulders hunched
together, and her thin arms hanging before her straight to her lap. Her
honey coloured hair was parted and gathered into two funny plaits, that
stuck out behind her ear. Her head was tilted slightly backwards to rest
against the rail of the cot. She looked at Nicky and her look reminded
him of something, he couldn't remember what.
"Were you ever afraid, Nicky?" she said.
Nicky searched his memory for some image encircled by an atmosphere of
terror, and found there a white hound with red smears on his breast and
a muzzle like two saws.
"Yes," he said, "I was once."
A lamb--a white lamb--was what Veronica looked like. And Jerry bad
looked at him like that when he found him sitting on the mustard and
cress the day Boris killed him.
"Afraid--what of?"
"I don't know that it was 'of' exactly."
"Would you be afraid of a ghost, now, if you saw one?"
"I expect I jolly well should, if I _really_ saw one."
"Being afraid of ghosts doesn't count, does it?"
"No, of course it doesn't. You aren't afraid as long as I'm here, are
you?"
"No."
"I shall stay, then, till you go to sleep."
Night after night he heard her calling to him, "Nicky, I'm frightened."
Nobody but Veronica and Nicky were ever in bed on that floor before
midnight. Night after night he got up and came to her and stayed beside
her till she went to sleep.
Once he said, "If it was Michael he could tell you stories."
"I don't _want_ Michael. I want you."
In the day-time she went about looking for him. "Where's Nicky?" she
said. "I want him."
"Nicky's in the schoolroom. You can't have him."
"But--I _want_ him."
"Can't be helped. You must do without him."
"Will he be very long?"
"Yes, ever so long. Run away like a good little girl and play with
Don-Don."
She knew that they told her to play with Don-Don, because she was a
little girl. If only she could grow big quick and be the same age
as Nicky.
Instead of running away and playing with Don-Don, Ronny went away by
herself into the apple-tree house, to wait for Nicky.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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