The Tremendous Adventures of Major GahaganThackeray, William Makepeace
History
The Tremendous Adventures of Major Gahagan
Thackeray, William Makepeace
India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction
“A cornet!” said he, in a voice choking with emotion; “a pitiful
beggarly Irish cornet aspire to the hand of Julia Jowler! Gag— Gahagan,
are you mad, or laughing at us? Look at these letters, young man—at
these letters, I say—one hundred and twenty-four epistles from every
part of India (not including one from the Governor-General, and six
from his brother, Colonel Wellesley)—one hundred and twenty-four
proposals for the hand of Miss Jowler! Cornet Gahagan,” he continued,
“I wish to think well of you: you are the bravest, the most modest,
and, perhaps, the handsomest man in our corps; but you have not got a
single rupee. You ask me for Julia, and you do not possess even an
anna!”—(Here the old rogue grinned, as if he had made a capital
pun.)—“No, no,” said he, waxing good-natured; “Gagy my boy, it is
nonsense! Julia love, retire with your mamma; this silly young
gentleman will remain and smoke a pipe with me.”
I took one: it was the bitterest chillum I ever smoked in my life.
I am not going to give here an account of my military services; they
will appear in my great national autobiography, in forty volumes, which
I am now preparing for the press. I was with my regiment in all
Wellesley’s brilliant campaigns; then taking dawk, I travelled across
the country north-eastward, and had the honour of fighting by the side
of Lord Lake at Laswaree, Degg, Furruckabad, Futtyghur, and Bhurtpore:
but I will not boast of my actions—the military man knows them, MY
SOVEREIGN appreciates them. If asked who was the bravest man of the
Indian army, there is not an officer belonging to it who would not cry
at once, GAHAGAN. The fact is, I was desperate: I cared not for life,
deprived of Julia Jowler.
With Julia’s stony looks ever before my eyes, her father’s stern
refusal in my ears, I did not care, at the close of the campaign, again
to seek her company or to press my suit. We were eighteen months on
service, marching and counter-marching, and fighting almost every other
day: to the world I did not seem altered; but the world only saw the
face, and not the seared and blighted heart within me. My valour,
always desperate, now reached to a pitch of cruelty; I tortured my
grooms and grass-cutters for the most trifling offence or error,—I
never in action spared a man,—I sheared off three hundred and nine
heads in the course of that single campaign.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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