Whatever the reason, some of these
attractive people are indeed very attractive. But all of them are
attractive, even Block, pitiful worm that he is." As the lawyer
finished what he was saying, K. was fully in control of himself, he had
even nodded conspicuously at his last few words in order to confirm to
himself the view he had already formed: that the lawyer was trying to
confuse him, as he always did, by making general and irrelevant
observations, and thus distract him from the main question of what he
was actually doing for K.'s trial. The lawyer must have noticed that K.
was offering him more resistance than before, as he became silent,
giving K. the chance to speak himself, and then, as K. also remained
silent, he asked, "Did you have a particular reason for coming to see
me today?" "Yes," said K., putting his hand up to slightly shade his
eyes from the light of the candle so that he could see the lawyer
better, "I wanted to tell you that I'm withdrawing my representation
from you, with immediate effect." "Do I understand you rightly?" asked
the lawyer as he half raised himself in his bed and supported himself
with one hand on the pillow. "I think you do," said K., sitting stiffly
upright as if waiting in ambush. "Well we can certainly discuss this
plan of yours," said the lawyer after a pause. "It's not a plan any
more," said K. "That may be," said the lawyer, "but we still mustn't
rush anything." He used the word 'we', as if he had no intention of
letting K. go free, and as if, even if he could no longer represent him,
he could still at least continue as his adviser. "Nothing is being
rushed," said K., standing slowly up and going behind his chair,
"everything has been well thought out and probably even for too long.
The decision is final." "Then allow me to say a few words," said the
lawyer, throwing the bed cover to one side and sitting on the edge of
the bed. His naked, white-haired legs shivered in the cold. He asked K.
to pass him a blanket from the couch. K. passed him the blanket and
said, "You are running the risk of catching cold for no reason." "The
circumstances are important enough," said the lawyer as he wrapped the
bed cover around the top half of his body and then the blanket around
his legs. "Your uncle is my friend and in the course of time I've become
fond of you as well. I admit that quite openly. There's nothing in that
for me to be ashamed of." It was very unwelcome for K. to hear the old
man speak in this touching way, as it forced him to explain himself more
fully, which he would rather have avoided, and he was aware that it also
confused him even though it could never make him reverse his decision.
"Thank you for feeling so friendly toward me," he said, "and I also
realise how deeply involved you've been in my case, as deeply as
possible for yourself and to bring as much advantage as possible to me.
Nonetheless, I have recently come to the conviction that it is not
enough.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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