"Sure," boomed Kelly. "You're right as usual, Joe. Never stopped
to think myself." He turned and pointed to the stenographer. "My old
friend Jones is on the edge of a decline." The bookkeeper disregarded
the presence of the private secretary as if he were deaf. "If he starts
to slide he hasn't far to go to land in a cemetery."
Mr. Jones displayed no marked pleasure in the conversation. He maintained
a dignified aloofness.
"I have decided to train him," Kelly explained. "It's going to be
a hard job. He's got no bone. He's got no muscle. He's got no fat.
He's got nothin'."
Again Kelly overlooked the proud and sensitive spirit which protested
against this public dissection of physical defects.
The eyes of Kelly and Joe viewed the puny figure of the stenographer in
the manner of disgusted farmers examining a runt which resists their
efforts to fatten it.
"To get flesh and muscle and bone on him I must give him plenty of
exercise and get him out into the air. That will make him eat," Kelly
went on.
"His present diet is mostly cigarettes, isn't it?" Joe inquired.
"He eats them by the bale," confessed Kelly.
Apparently Joe deemed himself invited into the case as a consulting
specialist. "Make him cut them out," he prescribed. "Take the little
fellow out for a run every night and give him a good sweat out. Give him
a bath and a rub down and get him in bed by ten o'clock. Watch your
distances at first. Jonesy is full of dope. Look at his eyes."
Mr. Jones quailed under this keen scrutiny of experts.
"He'll fall dead if he runs a block," predicted Joe. "He'll be
able to cover some ground, though, after a couple of weeks of plugging.
You can speed him up, then." He studied the stenographer with impersonal
interest. "Make a feather weight boxer of him, Mike, if he isn't
yellow. Get him in shape for the fall meet of the Athletic Club. If he
can't box, make him run. He's built like a jack rabbit."
The course of treatment outlined by the consulting specialist filled
Mr. Jones with undisguised alarm. His mind and body alike protested
against the indignities which threatened him. To him came recognition
that immediate resistance was necessary to prevent the advent of a
gruelling course of physical training, repugnant to his flesh and
revolting to his soul. "S-s-s-say," he stammered in the intenseness of
his opposition, "I don't want----"
"Look here," Joe interrupted with fierceness, "you asked Mike to train
you, didn't you?"
Mr. Jones's mental anguish did not make for quick thinking. He worked
his lips but emitted no sound.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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