Opening one of the old volumes of his _Gazette_ at random, we find for
September 5, 1734, a humorous account of a lottery in England, by which,
to encourage the propagation of the species, all the old maids of the
country are to be raffled for. Turning over the leaves, we find the
humorous will of a fellow who, among other queer bequests, leaves his
body “as a very wholesome feast to the worms of his family vault.” In
another number an account is given of some excesses of the Pope, with a
Latin verse and its translation which had been pasted on Pasquin’s
statue:
“Omnia Venduntur imo
Dogmata Christi
Et ne me vendunt, evolo.
Roma Vale.”
“Rome all things sells, even doctrines old and new.
I’ll fly for fear of sale; so Rome adieu.”
In the number for November 7, 1734, we are given “The Genealogy of a
Jacobite.”
“The Devil _begat_ Sin, Sin _begat_ Error, Error _begat_ Pride,
Pride _begat_ Hatred, Hatred _begat_ Ignorance, Ignorance
_begat_ Blind Zeal, Blind Zeal _begat_ Superstition,
Superstition _begat_ Priestcraft, Priestcraft _begat_ Lineal
Succession, Lineal Succession _begat_ Indelible Character,
Indelible Character _begat_ Blind Obedience, Blind Obedience
_begat_ Infallibility, Infallibility _begat_ the Pope and his
Brethren in the time of Egyptian Darkness, the Pope _begat_
Purgatory, Purgatory _begat_ Auricular Confession, Auricular
Confession _begat_ Renouncing of Reason, Renouncing of Reason
_begat_ Contempt of Scriptures, Contempt of the Scriptures
_begat_ Implicit Faith, Implicit Faith _begat_ Carnal Policy,
Carnal Policy _begat_ Unlimited Passive Obedience, Unlimited
Passive Obedience _begat_ Non-Resistance, Non-Resistance _begat_
Oppression, Oppression _begat_ Faction, Faction _begat_
Patriotism, Patriotism _begat_ Opposition to all the Measures of
the Ministry, Opposition _begat_ Disaffection, Disaffection
_begat_ Discontent, Discontent _begat_ a Tory, and a Tory
_begat_ a Jacobite, with Craftsman and Fog and their Brethren on
the Body of the Whore of Babylon when she was deemed past child
bearing.”
Franklin’s famous “Speech of Polly Baker” is supposed to have first
appeared in the _Gazette_. This is a mistake, but it was reprinted again
and again in American newspapers for half a century.
“The Speech of Miss Polly Baker before a Court of Judicatory, in
New England, where she was prosecuted for a fifth time, for
having a Bastard Child; which influenced the Court to dispense
with her punishment, and which induced one of her judges to
marry her the next day--by whom she had fifteen children.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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