_Mush._ Why, madam, as the celebrated doctor Thomas Augustus Arne has honoured this hasty offspring with an alliance of his harmonious muse, and as your ladyship has frequently heretofore enlivened it with your vocal glee, shall we beg that you will once more animate these verbal images with a touch of your Promethean pipe. _Mrs. Dig._ O dear, Count, you are veestly panegyrical. _Coun._ Aye, aye, come, sister, as you have the tune oblige us with it. _Mrs. Dig._ I will try, brother, what I can do--but, by my honour, I have a great big cold--hem, hem!-- _Mush._ The worse your voice, madam, the more your taste will shine. _Mrs. Dig._ Nay, Count, voice or no voice I will make an effort--Sol-la-mi-fa-sol, &c.--Upon my honour I have no more voice than a kitling. S O N G. [_During the song Mushroom beats time conceitedly, but so as not to interrupt her, or interfere with her acting it._] _Mush._ Bravo! bravissimo! carissimo! novellissimo! transcendissimo! and every superlativissimo in the sublime region of excellentissimo! _O’Dogh._ Come, Count, now if you please we will go down, and sign the leases, and dispatch the attornies. _Mush._ With all my heart. [_Exit_ O’Dogh. _Mrs. Dig._ You dine here, Count. _Mush._ Do I breathe! do I exist! I will but just step down, sign the leases, and return on the wings of inclination--ma chere belle sans, adieu. [_Exit._ _Mrs. Dig._ Au revoir--well, he is a most humourous creature, and mighty witty: don’t you think so, brother? _Coun._ Very witty, indeed, and I suppose understands a lady’s toilet-- _Mrs. Dig._ The best of any man in the world, the most handy creature about a woman--and such teest--but, brother, you must sup with us to-night--I have a few friends--a private peerty this evening: Lady Kinnegad, Lady Pam, old Lady Bab Frightful, Mrs. Gazette, Mr. Mushroom, Pat Fitzmungrel, Major Gamble, Mrs. Cardmark, and half a score more--quite a private peerty--you must be with us, brother--we are to have a little gambling and dancing, and are to be mighty jolly--I shall expect you--yours, yours--I must go finish my toilet. [_Exit._ _Coun._ What a strange turn this woman’s mind has taken--she is far gone I see, and must be pinched to the quick--and shall this very night. [_Exit._ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ACT II. _Enter Mr. and Mrs._ O’Dogherty. _O’Dogh._ Well, but, my dear, why will you be in such a passion? Why will you not hearken to reason? _Mrs. Dig._ Mr. Diggerty, I will hear no reason; there can be no reason against what I say--you are the strangest man--not be a lord--sir, I insist upon it--there’s a necessity for a peerage.