The True Life of Betty Ireland: With Her Birth, Education, and Adventures. Together with Some Account of Her Elder Sister Blanch of Britain. Containing Sundry Very Curious ParticularsAnonymous
General
The True Life of Betty Ireland: With Her Birth, Education, and Adventures. Together with Some Account of Her Elder Sister Blanch of Britain. Containing Sundry Very Curious Particulars
Anonymous
Satire
The _Blacks_, indeed, immediately made a _Riot_ on this new
Settlement, but could not get Possession; and, lately, a _young
Jackanapes_ pretended a _Right_ to be _Steward_ to _both Sisters_,
by Virtue of a _Patent_ he had got from the last _Steward_, as if
he had a Right to dispose of a _Place_ he had been turned out of
himself. He came on the Lands, however, with a _bloody-minded_ Crew
of _skirtless_ Vagabonds, drove off the Cattle, robbed the
_Hen-roosts_, and _swaggered_ at so _unmerciful_ a Rate, that
_Blanch_ was frightened out of her Senses, and was fain to _send_
for a Dram of _Gin_ to restore her Spirits. But if she was
frightened, her _Guardian_ was not, and had a _Month's Mind_ to
find out the _Varlet_ in Person, and tread him under his Feet.
But as he could not leave the _Hall-house_ where the _Court
was sitting_, he sent a _Lad_ of his own to take Account of him,
who did the _Business tightly_. He was a _well-mettled Blade_,
and _Steel_ to the _Back_. He came up with him at the Corner
of a Farmer's Yard, where he gave him and his _Desperados_ a
wofull Drubbing, kicked him i'the A----e, _soused_ him in the
_Horse-pond_, which he swam over to save his Bacon, and looked so
miserably scared in his Passage, that it's sure he'll never _try
the Ford_ again.
For a good while before this Alarm happened (which proved nothing
but a _Bugbear_) both the _Sisters_ had a fair Opportunity of
minding their Concerns, and getting above the World. _Blanch_ might
have paid her Debts, and had Money to the fore; but it was ever her
Misfortune to be _ill-served_ by almost all she employed. Never,
sure, had Lady so _unhandy_ a Pack about her, and, indeed, it was
impossible it could well be otherwise; for she did not chuse her
_Servants_ because they were _fit_ for this, or that _Office_, but
because they asked, and would have it, or be horribly out of
Humour else, would make a Noise and _Uproar_ at every _Court-Leet_,
terrify the _Tenants_ at every _Ale-house_, with strange Stories of
Designs on their _Copy-holds_, and wicked _Plots_ just ready to
begin; 'till they turned their Heads, and set them madding. So that
the poor Lady was fain to _take them in_, to keep Peace at Home,
and to pay them Wages for not doing her Business. The Consequence
of which was, she had _Clerks_ could neither write or read; Book,
and Cash-keepers, that could not _count_ or cast up, or ever heard
of a _Ballance_ in their Lives. And so ridiculous was her
Compliance in this Point, that she had once a Lady to curry her
Horse, and a _Fishmonger_ for a _Grass Bailiff_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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