Almshouses -- Fiction; Older women -- Fiction; Villages -- England -- Fiction; Women cleaning personnel -- Fiction
The boards creaked under her feet as she stirred about the cottage
bedroom, moving cleverly in the limited space and under the sloping
ceiling. She had always been a big woman, coming of big, upstanding
stock, and now at sixty-five she was stout as well. To all outward
appearance, though, she was strong and sound, and it was only lately
that her comely pink face had begun its network of fine lines. Always
as neat as a new pin, to-day she took greater pains over dressing
than usual, giving an extra polish to her healthy skin and an extra
shine to her white hair. The day which was bringing her so much—as
she serenely hoped—could not be encountered in any other spirit.
She looked at herself in the glass when she had finished, and was
glad to see that she stood her age so well. Her hands alone troubled
her—those toil-worn, charwoman’s hands which spoke so clearly of her
profession. Not that she was ashamed of her work—on the contrary, she
was proud—but in that moment of personal satisfaction she was ashamed
of her hands.
She turned away at last, and creaked across the boards to the stairs,
full of that pleasant consciousness of sound health and of coming
good. She forgot that lately she had begun to feel old, that she had
had doubts about her heart, and that the knee which she had damaged
years ago on Mrs. Fletcher’s stairs was often too painful to let
her sleep. She forgot that there had been a day—not so long ago,
either—when she had suddenly found herself coming home thoroughly
tired out, not only in body, but in mind. The spirit had gone clean
out of her for the time being. She had wondered, indeed, whether
she would ever be able to persuade herself to enter other people’s
houses again, so utterly weary was she of their unvarying routine,
their anything but unvarying servants, their dull furniture and their
duller meals. She had even felt a spasm of real hatred for the houses
themselves, which, no matter how often or how thoroughly she scrubbed
them from roof to floor, were always waiting for her to come and
scrub them again.
That unexpected breakdown of hers had lasted at least twenty-four
hours. The following morning she had actually refused to go to Mrs.
Hogg, whose dwelling at any time was never one of those that she
liked best. She had sent back word at the last minute—an unforgivable
crime in her scrupulous code—and had sat indoors all day brooding
and doing nothing. Towards evening she had had a vision of herself
as a helpless old woman, and then she had broken down and wept; but
next day her courage had come surging back, and next week as usual
she had gone to Mrs. Hogg. Her work was as good as ever it had been,
and outsiders had seen no difference. Nevertheless, there _was_ a
difference, as she knew very well. That day had marked the point
at which she had begun definitely to grow old. From that day she
realised that she had been scarred by the battle of life, and that
before very long she must seek some haven to be healed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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