Children -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Ghost stories; Governesses -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
I find that I really hang back; but I must take my plunge. In going on
with the record of what was hideous at Bly, I not only challenge the
most liberal faith—for which I little care; but—and this is another
matter—I renew what I myself suffered, I again push my way through it
to the end. There came suddenly an hour after which, as I look back,
the affair seems to me to have been all pure suffering; but I have at
least reached the heart of it, and the straightest road out is
doubtless to advance. One evening—with nothing to lead up or to prepare
it—I felt the cold touch of the impression that had breathed on me the
night of my arrival and which, much lighter then, as I have mentioned,
I should probably have made little of in memory had my subsequent
sojourn been less agitated. I had not gone to bed; I sat reading by a
couple of candles. There was a roomful of old books at Bly—last-century
fiction, some of it, which, to the extent of a distinctly deprecated
renown, but never to so much as that of a stray specimen, had reached
the sequestered home and appealed to the unavowed curiosity of my
youth. I remember that the book I had in my hand was Fielding’s
_Amelia_; also that I was wholly awake. I recall further both a general
conviction that it was horribly late and a particular objection to
looking at my watch. I figure, finally, that the white curtain draping,
in the fashion of those days, the head of Flora’s little bed, shrouded,
as I had assured myself long before, the perfection of childish rest. I
recollect in short that, though I was deeply interested in my author, I
found myself, at the turn of a page and with his spell all scattered,
looking straight up from him and hard at the door of my room. There was
a moment during which I listened, reminded of the faint sense I had
had, the first night, of there being something undefinably astir in the
house, and noted the soft breath of the open casement just move the
half-drawn blind. Then, with all the marks of a deliberation that must
have seemed magnificent had there been anyone to admire it, I laid down
my book, rose to my feet, and, taking a candle, went straight out of
the room and, from the passage, on which my light made little
impression, noiselessly closed and locked the door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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