Children -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Ghost stories; Governesses -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
made the night extraordinarily penetrable and showed me on the lawn a
person, diminished by distance, who stood there motionless and as if
fascinated, looking up to where I had appeared—looking, that is, not so
much straight at me as at something that was apparently above me. There
was clearly another person above me—there was a person on the tower;
but the presence on the lawn was not in the least what I had conceived
and had confidently hurried to meet. The presence on the lawn—I felt
sick as I made it out—was poor little Miles himself.
XI
It was not till late next day that I spoke to Mrs. Grose; the rigor
with which I kept my pupils in sight making it often difficult to meet
her privately, and the more as we each felt the importance of not
provoking—on the part of the servants quite as much as on that of the
children—any suspicion of a secret flurry or that of a discussion of
mysteries. I drew a great security in this particular from her mere
smooth aspect. There was nothing in her fresh face to pass on to others
my horrible confidences. She believed me, I was sure, absolutely: if
she hadn’t I don’t know what would have become of me, for I couldn’t
have borne the business alone. But she was a magnificent monument to
the blessing of a want of imagination, and if she could see in our
little charges nothing but their beauty and amiability, their happiness
and cleverness, she had no direct communication with the sources of my
trouble. If they had been at all visibly blighted or battered, she
would doubtless have grown, on tracing it back, haggard enough to match
them; as matters stood, however, I could feel her, when she surveyed
them, with her large white arms folded and the habit of serenity in all
her look, thank the Lord’s mercy that if they were ruined the pieces
would still serve. Flights of fancy gave place, in her mind, to a
steady fireside glow, and I had already begun to perceive how, with the
development of the conviction that—as time went on without a public
accident—our young things could, after all, look out for themselves,
she addressed her greatest solicitude to the sad case presented by
their instructress. That, for myself, was a sound simplification: I
could engage that, to the world, my face should tell no tales, but it
would have been, in the conditions, an immense added strain to find
myself anxious about hers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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