I shall never forget the first time I saw it. I had dined alone
downstairs. I never drink wine, so that what happened was eminently
normal. It was in the summer twilight that I returned to the study. I
glanced at the desk. There he was, sitting. So natural was it, that
before I knew I cried out "Jim!" Then I remembered all that had
happened. Of course it was an hallucination. I knew that. I took the
poker and went over to it. He did not move nor vanish. The poker cleaved
through the non-existent substance of the thing and struck the back of
the chair. Fabric of fancy, that is all it was. The mark is there on the
chair now where the poker struck. I pause from my writing and turn and
look at it--press the tips of my fingers into the indentation.
* * * * *
He _did_ continue the argument. I stole up to-day and looked over his
shoulder. He was writing the history of our discussion. It was the same
old nonsense about the eternity of forms. But as I continued to read, he
wrote down the practical test I had made with the poker. Now this is
unfair and untrue. I made no test. In falling he struck his head on the
poker.
* * * * *
Some day, somebody will find and read what he writes. This will be
terrible. I am suspicious of the servant, who is always peeping and
peering, trying to see what I write. I must do something. Every servant
I have had is curious about what I write.
* * * * *
Fabric of fancy. That is all it is. There is no Jim who sits in the
chair. I know that. Last night, when the house was asleep, I went down
into the cellar and looked carefully at the soil around the chimney. It
was untampered with. The dead do not rise up.
* * * * *
Yesterday morning, when I entered the study, there he was in the chair.
When I had dispelled him, I sat in the chair myself all day. I had my
meals brought to me. And thus I escaped the sight of him for many hours,
for he appears only in the chair. I was weary, but I sat late, until
eleven o'clock. Yet, when I stood up to go to bed, I looked around, and
there he was. He had slipped into the chair on the instant. Being only
fabric of fancy, all day he had resided in my brain. The moment it was
unoccupied, he took up his residence in the chair. Are these his boasted
higher planes of existence--his brother's brain and a chair? After all,
was he not right? Has his eternal form become so attenuated as to be an
hallucination? Are hallucinations real entities? Why not? There is food
for thought here. Some day I shall come to a conclusion upon it.
* * * * *
He was very much disturbed to-day. He could not write, for I had made
the servant carry the pen out of the room in his pocket But neither
could I write.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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