When, looking back to that evening, I ask myself the question: Was
that when we first made acquaintance? I answer, No. We did not need
it; we greeted each other as friends of long standing; our first
meeting was as a coming together after separation.
Our conversation was interrupted by papa. He wanted to consult with
the baron concerning some matters connected with his estate, and
Bernhard had told him that he could not do better than put them into
his hands. Both gentlemen engaged in earnest conversation; and at its
close I saw them shake hands, and felt quite elated. So the fool of a
Schwarzburg could talk sensibly for once--his advice could even be of
use!
The soirée was over. Most of the guests had left. Among the last
to go were Dora and her people, and the count and his mother. The
_comtesse douairière_, as my Duphot called her, was especially
amiable to me on saying good-night.
“You are so sweet, dear child, I quite admired you. How charming you
were this evening toward that poor baron, the _attaché_ fellow! But
do not forget that there may be a danger of your good nature being
misunderstood. That class of person does not always know how to
accept our notice, and is often made uncomfortable by our desire to
make them feel _à leur aise_ in our society.”
I hardly knew what to make of this comment; whether to take it as one
of praise or blame.
* * * * *
I will not attempt to describe my simple love story at length. That
my parents would consent to my marriage with Baron Schwarzburg, the
“_attaché_ fellow,” I did not for a moment believe. The consciousness
of my love for him and of its hopelessness revealed themselves
simultaneously to me; and it would have been a grave wrong in me had
I given myself up to the former. But I had not given myself up to
it; it had taken hold of me before I was aware, and from the first
moment I was as completely under its sway as I am to this day. It was
the same with him. His affection for me came as suddenly as did my
great love for him. It was only his perfect absence of vanity which
for a long time made him think it impossible that he could inspire
me with any warmer feelings than those of friendship. But even that
seemed to make him supremely happy; and as for me--a new life had
unfolded to me since he had taken me into his confidence, and since
I had learned to know the workings of his noble, unselfish heart. He
had met almost on every side with injustice, and yet he always held
that Right must conquer. He had endured countless bitternesses, yet
had come through them without one taint of bitterness. Truly with
such a fund of love and strength in his own heart, how should he
believe in anything but goodness?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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