England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Love stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Not a human creature passed us in the streets; not a light glimmered
on us from the grim black houses. Twice the child stopped, and (still
keeping slyly out of her mother's reach) ran back to me, wondering at
my silence. "Why don't you speak?" she asked. "Have you and mamma
quarreled?"
I was incapable of answering her--I could think of nothing but my
contemplated crime. Neither fear nor remorse troubled me. Every better
instinct, every nobler feeling that I had once possessed, seemed to
be dead and gone. Not even a thought of the child's future troubled my
mind. I had no power of looking on further than the fatal leap from the
boat: beyond that there was an utter blank. For the time being--I can
only repeat it, my moral sense was obscured, my mental faculties were
thrown completely off their balance. The animal part of me lived and
moved as usual; the viler animal instincts in me plotted and planned,
and that was all. Nobody, looking at me, would have seen anything but a
dull quietude in my face, an immovable composure in my manner. And yet
no madman was fitter for restraint, or less responsible morally for his
own actions, than I was at that moment.
The night air blew more freshly on our faces. Still led by the child, we
had passed through the last street--we were out on the empty open space
which was the landward boundary of the harbor. In a minute more we
stood on the quay, within a step of the gunwale of the boat. I noticed
a change in the appearance of the harbor since I had seen it last.
Some fishing-boats had come in during my absence. They moored, some
immediately astern and some immediately ahead of my own vessel. I looked
anxiously to see if any of the fishermen were on board and stirring. Not
a living being appeared anywhere. The men were on shore with their wives
and their families.
Elfie held out her arms to be lifted on board my boat. Mrs. Van Brandt
stepped between us as I stooped to take her up.
"We will wait here," she said, "while you go into the cabin and get the
money."
Those words placed it beyond all doubt that she had her suspicions of
me--suspicions, probably, which led her to fear not for her life, but
for her freedom. She might dread being kept a prisoner in the boat, and
being carried away by me against her will. More than this she could not
thus far possibly apprehend. The child saved me the trouble of making
any remonstrance. She was determined to go with me. "I must see the
cabin," she cried, holding up the key. "I must open the door myself."
She twisted herself out of her mother's hands, and ran round to the
other side of me. I lifted her over the gunwale of the boat in an
instant. Before I could turn round, her mother had followed her, and was
standing on the deck.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account