The old man's words and his gentle touch had a wonderful effect on the
boy; they checked his impassioned outburst; but his pent-up heart was
too full. He burst into tears and rushed headlong from the house.
For a time he walked aimlessly on, his mind in a tumult of rage. Then he
began to come to himself. He saw the people as they passed him. He had
eyes again for the street, and he wondered where he was going. He felt
an overwhelming desire to talk to some one and to get sympathy,
consolation, and perhaps support. But whither should he turn? If
'Liphalet Hodges had been at the old house, his steps would naturally
have bent in that direction; but this refuge was no longer his. Then his
mind began going over the people whom he knew, and no name so stuck in
his fancy as that of Elizabeth. It was a hard struggle. He was bashful.
Any other time he would not have done it, but now his great need created
in him an intense desperation that made him bold. He turned and retraced
his steps toward the Simpson house.
Elizabeth was leaning over the gate. The autumn evening was cool: she
had a thin shawl about her shoulders. She was humming a song as Fred
came up. His own agitation made her seem irritatingly calm. She opened
the gate and made room for him at her side.
"You seem dreadfully warm," she said, "and here I was getting ready to
go in because it is so cool."
"I 've been walking very fast," he answered, hesitatingly.
"Don't you think you 'd better go in, so as not to take cold?"
"Oh, I don't care if I do take cold." The speech sounded rude. Elizabeth
looked at him in surprise.
"What 's the matter with you?" she asked.
"I 'm mad; that 's what 's the matter."
"Oh, Fred, you should n't get mad: you know it 's wrong."
He put up his hand as if she had struck him. "Wrong! wrong! It seems I
can't hear anything else but that word. Everything is wrong. Don't say
any more about it. I don't want to hear the word again."
Elizabeth did not know what to make of his words, so she said nothing,
and for a while they stood in strained silence. After a while he said,
"Aunt Hester wants me to be a preacher."
"I am so glad to hear that," she returned. "I think you 'll make a good
one."
"You too!" he exclaimed, resentfully. "Why should I make a good one?
Why need I be one at all?"
"Oh, because you 're smart, and then you 've always been good."
The young man was suddenly filled with disdain. His anger returned. He
felt how utterly out of accord he was with every one else. "Don't you
think there is anything else required besides being 'smart' and 'good'?"
He himself would have blushed at the tone in which he said this, could
he have recognised it. "I 'm smart because I happened to pass all my
examinations. I got through the high school at eighteen: nearly everyone
does the same. I 'm good because I have never had a chance to be bad: I
have never been out of Aunt Hester's sight long enough. Anybody could be
good that way."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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