The Uncensored Letters of a Canteen GirlMorse, Katharine Duncan
History
The Uncensored Letters of a Canteen Girl
Morse, Katharine Duncan
World War, 1914-1918 -- Personal narratives
Now and then I catch a glimpse of Jenicho the Russian giant, but he is
very shy. A huge lumbering fellow, sluggish, and seemingly stupid, with
little pig eyes that are quite lost to sight when he smiles, Jenicho is
the butt of the Company. When he joined the regiment last summer, they
tell me, he knew no word of English. The first phrase that he acquired
was; “You no bodder me.” For the boys can’t resist the temptation to
plague Jenicho, and though his strength is such that if he once should
get his hands on his tormentors he could break them into bits, he is so
slow withal that they always can elude him. Not long ago Jenicho was
walking post one night when the Officer of the Day hailed him and
announced himself. To which Jenicho lustily responded; “Me no give damn.
Me walk post, gun loaded, bay’net fixed. You no bodder me. Me shoot!”
And the Officer of the Day discreetly walked on.
Then there is little Philip R. who plays our decrepit old piano quite
brilliantly by ear, and who is, he tells me, half Greek and half
Egyptian. Philip R. is the pet of a French family in one of the
neighboring villages. He stopped at a house to ask for a drink of water
when out walking one day. Madame asked him in, pressed him to stay to
supper. The family made much of him, and all because forsooth he was the
first “American” they had ever seen. Since then he has been a constant
welcome visitor.
There is St. Mary too. If you can conceive of a cherub eating watermelon
you have a perfect picture of St. Mary. St. Mary converses entirely in
words of one syllable and very few at that. He makes smiles serve for
speech. St. Mary loses everything he owns; not long ago he lost his
overcoat, now he has lost his bayonet. Yet St. Mary is the best natured
boy in the company; he needs to be. When St. Mary helps me stir the
chocolate it seems as if half the company lined up on the other side of
the counter to shout; “St. Mary! Take your dirty hands out er that there
chocolate!” and St. Mary never says a word but grins until his eyes are
nothing but little slits and ducks his head until only the curls on top
are visible.
“St. Mary, he’s kind o’ simple,” explains Private Gatts. “But there
ain’t anybody in camp that’s got a better heart.”
And there is Bruno, Angelo Bruno, a little grinning goblin of a man, but
strong, they say, as a gorilla. Bruno gives the non-coms no end of
trouble; he’s a “tough nut to manage.” Whenever he is told to do
anything that does not suit his tastes, he merely shrugs his shoulders,
“No capish,” and that’s the end of it. The other day while on guard he
was interrogated by the Officer of the Day.
“What’s your name?”
“Bruno.”
“What are your general orders?”
“Angelo.”
The Officer gasped, thought he would try again. “What are your special
orders?”
Bruno saw a light. “They’re ina my pock!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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