England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
He went to his lodgings, and, as he anticipated, found that Harriet had
not yet come home. She was almost always out very late, and he had
learnt too well what to expect on her return. In spite of her illness,
of which she made the most when it suited her purpose, she was able to
wander about at all hours with the acquaintances her husband did not
even know by name, and Julian had no longer the strength even to
implore her to have pity on him. He absence racked him with nervous
fears; her presence tortured him to agony. Weakness in him had reached
a criminal degree. Once or twice he had all but made up his mind to
flee secretly, and only let her know his determination when he had
gone; but his poverty interposed such obstacles that he ended by
accepting them as excuses for his hesitation. The mere thought of
fulfilling the duty which he owed to himself, of speaking out with
manly firmness, and telling her that here at length all ended between
them--that was a terror to his soul. So he stayed on and allowed her to
kill him by slow torment. He was at least carrying out to the letter
the promise he had made to her father, and this thought supplied him
with a flattering unction which, such was his disposition, at times
even brought him a moment's solace.
There was no fire in the room; he sank upon a chair and waited. Every
sound in the street below sent the blood back upon his heart. At length
there came the fumbling of a latch-key--he could hear it plainly--and
then the heavy foot ascending the stairs. Her glazed eyes and red
cheeks told the familiar tale. She sat down opposite him and was silent
for a minute, half dozing; then she seemed suddenly to become conscious
of his presence, and the words began to flow from her tongue, every one
cutting him to the quick, poisoning his soul with their venom of
jealousy and vulgar spite. Contention was the breath of her nostrils;
the prime impulse of her heart was suspicion. Little by little she came
round to the wonted topic. Had he been to see his friend the thief? Was
she in prison again yet? Whom had she been stealing from of late? Oh,
she was innocence itself, of course; too good for this evil-speaking
world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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