The slowly receding form of Mr. Goldman waddled along by the hedge,
turned into the lane, passed from view. In almost the same moment
William Hollis felt a severe depression. He had reached the stage of
life and fortune when he could not bear to be alone. With a kind of
dull pain he realized that this was his forty-first birthday and that
he had failed in life.
He was going down the hill. Unless he could take a pull on himself he
was done. Already it might be too late. The best part of his life was
behind him. A year ago that day, in this very garden, his only source
of happiness, he had told himself that; two years ago, three years
ago, five years ago, this had been the burden of his thoughts. But he
was in a rut and there seemed to be no way out.
Twenty years ago he had felt it was in him to do something. He was
an ambitious young fellow with a mind that looked forward to the day
after to-morrow. Such a man ought to have done something. But now he
knew that there had been a soft spot in him somewhere and that a moral
and mental dry rot had already set in. He was a talker, a thinker, a
dreamer; action was not his sphere. Unless he took a strong pull on
himself he was out of the race.
He poured what remained of the jar of ale into the earthenware mug he
kept for the purpose--Blackhampton ale tastes better out of a mug--and
drank it slowly, without relish. Then he cut a few flowers to take
home to his wife--to the wife who hadn't spoken to him for nearly a
week--arranged them in a bunch, with the delicacy of one unconsciously
sensitive to form and color, looped a bit of twitch neatly round them,
put on his coat, a stained and worn alpaca, put on his hat, a battered,
disreputable straw, cast the eye of a lover round his precious garden,
locked its dilapidated green door and started down the lane and down
the hill towards the city.
It was now five o'clock and a little cooler, yet William Hollis walked
very slowly. There was a lot of time to kill before the day was
through. But his thoughts were biting him harder than ever as he turned
into the famous road leading to the city, known as The Rise. This
salubrious eminence, commanding the town from the northeast, was sacred
to the city magnates. When a man made good in Blackhampton, really
good, he built a house on The Rise. It was the ambition of every true
Blackhamptonian to express his individuality in that way. Until he had
achieved a house entirely to his own fancy and taste on The Rise, no
son of Blackhampton could be said really to have "arrived."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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