German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction; Sin -- Fiction
"It isn't nonsense," she replied, full of conviction; "have you
never heard of Darwin?"
"Yes ... the man who says we are descended from monkeys and
such-like--rot!" he was going to add, but checked himself in time.
"And then there is heredity, you know, about our all inheriting the
qualities of our parents. Our science-master explained that to us. If
your father is given to drink, then you will drink too."
"Did your father drink?"
"Yes--he drank."
"And so you are afraid that you will become a drunkard, eh?"
"No, not that. A girl couldn't very well. But I am afraid about
temper."
"What temper?"
"His was so violent. When he was in one of his rages he didn't know
what he was doing; once he flew at me with a knife."
"Horrors! How old were you then?"
"Not quite eight. It was after mother's death. He came from I don't
know where. We hadn't seen him for two years, and when he found out
that nothing had been left to him, and that it was all mine, and had
already been put in the hands of trustees, he was frantic, and it was
then that he did it--snatched up the knife. Afterwards he took me with
him when he travelled about. I was always to be with him, because then
he could get the money for my education."
"And you understood everything even then?" he exclaimed, amazed and
deeply moved.
A melancholy little smile flitted across her face, which made her look
years older.
"You see, I am not so foolish as you thought," she said. "I have cried
a good deal in my life. Oh yes! We were speaking of the violent
temper.... Well, I have got it too. If I am angry I am blind, and don't
know what I do, and my blood rushes into my head. I shall come to a bad
end one day. Mamma says I ought to pray, and beseech the Lord Jesus
every day to change my bad blood. But I am not sure that it would be
right. For if I have my bad times, I have my good too. No one dreams
what they are. Elly, for example. You know what she is like? always
placid, always soft. I believe the sun shines brighter for me than for
her, that to my eyes green is greener, and ... the moon ... how it
sails up there.... She doesn't see it.... She is always too sleepy. So
I say to myself often, every unhappiness may be happiness if one knows
just how to enjoy things like that."
He laid his hands on his forehead and stared at her. "Great God!" he
thought, "what magic there is in a young creature like this!"
She had talked herself into a high pitch of excitement, and, without
heeding him, went on--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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