German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction; Sin -- Fiction
"The salvation ordinance is no bogey," replied the old man. "That
morning your sister came and said to me, 'He is back, lighthearted and
gay, while I am crushed to the earth under the weight of his sin. Is
that right?' I made answer, 'Certainly not. The fellow must be got hold
of somehow. Repentance must be.'"
"You lie!" said Leo, and banged his fist on the table till the glasses
danced. "It mustn't be. At least, not in my case.... The strong have
their own code of morals as well as the weak.... Yours is 'sin, repent,
sin again;' mine 'sin, don't repent, _do better_.'"
"As if that could ever work!"
"It would have worked. I had planned it all. And after long thought I
was quite clear about its being practical. Would it, do you think, have
been no penance to live near my dearest friend as if he did not exist?
For that is what I had decided to do. But then you meddled, you and the
women, and have hunted me along a crooked path to which I see no end,
and from which there is no turning back. Every step forward is a lie;
every prospect ahead fills me with new dismay. When I didn't repent, I
was glad and strong and full of courage, but now there is some alien
germ in my blood that spreads and spreads and is slowly poisoning my
whole being.... I see it, and yet can't do anything. I shudder to think
what may be coming. And this is what you have done with your cursed
preaching of penitence."
"Must repent, Fritzchen," drawled the old man, and emptied his glass.
"Then if it must be"--he came behind the old pastor and seized him by
the shoulders--"why haven't you let me bear the brunt of my sin alone?
Why did you throw me with that woman again? I have sinned more against
her than she against me, so I don't reproach her. Why have you kneaded
me into such a pulpy condition that when she came and prayed for my
society, I had no weapon of resistance left? She had no further part to
play in my life, nor I in hers, and yet here I am, coupled, as it were,
with her again. Does that belong to the course of repentance that you
have prescribed for me?"
"That is the first step, called 'contritio,' or prostration," said the
old man, sagely.
"Stop your drivel," roared Leo. "Again I ask you, why you have hounded
me and that woman into each other's arms?"
The old man wiped his forehead. His head was beginning to grow heavy.
"Collect your thoughts," demanded Leo. "Wasn't it my sister's idea?"
"Sister--which sister?" was the dreamy answer. Then suddenly waking up
he exclaimed, "Yes, you are right--quite right. She was the first to
think of it. A brilliant idea; a blessed idea. Then the souls of two
people have to be saved, Fritzchen, and that is no trifle."
"Save them, then, by all means; but separately, and each on its own
account."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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