German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction; Sin -- Fiction
"Ah! why embitter the first confidential hour we are passing together?"
she murmured faintly.
"We have no confidential hours to pass together," he answered roughly.
She folded her hands. "My God, I know it, I know all. What I said just
now was said to force my own conscience into trying to cheer you....
What good can come of filling each other's ears with lamentations?"
He was silent. How everything was reversed since that morning on the
island! She now defended the standpoint that he had then taken up,
while he let himself be swayed by consciousness of sin as she had done
then. A few minutes before he had feared nothing so much as to hear her
lament, now he himself was driving her to it.
"You are right, Lizzie," he said, "we must quietly contain ourselves,
and spare each other reproaches, for old sins can't be undone. But the
devil take us if we forget the object for which we have entered into
this new alliance."
"How, in God's name, could we forget it?" she cried, putting her hands
before her face.
He breathed a sigh of relief. Now that their mutual purity of motive
had been solemnly attested on both sides afresh, he need no longer be
so much on his guard, and might without suspicion and self-reproach
give himself up to the charm of this dreaded _tête-à-tête_.
And indeed it was not without its charm.
Here was a sympathetic echo to those thoughts which for months had
tormented him, growing harder and more frequent day by day, bound up,
as it were, with every experience, meeting, and memory, and yet
remaining unspoken, so that their weight on his overburdened heart had
been well-nigh unbearable. Out of this pair of blue swimming eyes his
own guilt looked at him confidingly, softened and cleared by the
woman's grace. No harsh judgments blared from those soft lips, and when
they whisperingly alluded to a sin which had better have remained
unmentioned, they did so with a mild self-accusation that in itself was
for him forgiveness. That was comforting--ay, it was comforting. He
leaned back in his chair with a murmur of satisfaction, and asked if he
might light a cigar.
"You know you may do anything you like," she replied, and rose to fetch
him a tray and matches.
"Are you going to wait on me?" he exclaimed, springing up.
"Yes; let me. I like it, and you know it's not the first time," she
said, with her melancholy smile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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