German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction; Sin -- Fiction
"Listen, Johanna. I came here hating you very sorely, God knows. A
little more, and I might have---- But you are not what you were, for
all your threats. You and I are both poor bruised and broken creatures,
so we may as well be frank with each other. Come, tell me what I wish
to know, before it is too late."
Her tears were quenched, and she looked at him in utter mystification
at the unexpected softness in his manner. So accustomed was she to
regard him in the light of some wild beast, that she could hardly grasp
that he meant to be kind. Gradually her eyes recovered their fixed and
glassy expression, and she nodded her bead mysteriously towards the
crucifix in the corner. "Look at Him," she said--"near, quite near."
"At whom?"
"The Saviour."
He approached the _prie Dieu_, and gazed into the white face of the
Crucified, so calm in its supreme repose, as if weary of all earthly
contentions and excitement of the emotions.
"Do you see the resemblance?" asked his sister, with an almost prudish
smile.
"No; to whom?"
"Oh, Leo! can't you see?" she replied, with a melancholy little attempt
at playfulness, "Any child could tell you whom it is like. It is
Ulrich; exactly like Ulrich!"
"Ah, really!" exclaimed Leo, and as he saw the look of half-triumphant
possession in her face, the martyrdom of a lifetime was revealed to him
in a flash.
"Hannah," he said, "why, if you loved him so much, did you take up with
that villain Prachwitz?"
She started. "Love!" she stammered. "Who spoke of love? How can I love
any one?"
"What is the use of dissimulating? Haven't you as good as confessed?"
he answered.
Whereupon she threw herself back on the sofa-cushion and began to weep
again silently, as if she feared the intense sorrow of her soul being
brought to light. She tried to speak, but could only articulate a
confused murmur. It was not only that she had suffered, but, worst of
all, she was ashamed of her suffering.
And then at last she found words sufficiently humble in which to begin
her tale.
"It would sound ridiculous to say so, Leo, and you may scoff at me as
much as you like, but you are right. I love him, and I have always
loved him. That has been my fate, and God meant me for him---me, and me
alone. For I understood his character as no one else in the world could
do, not even you, Leo, with all your great friendship. If I had become
his wife, I would have kissed his feet and hands. I would have watched
over his poor weakly body with the tenderest care, which now languishes
because no one troubles about it. But she came--I won't abuse her; she
has had her punishment--and for her sake he forgot me. He ran after her
in the same way as you did. And, out of defiance, I took the first man
who asked me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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