The University of Hard KnocksParlette, Ralph Albert
Philosophy
The University of Hard Knocks
Parlette, Ralph Albert
Character; Conduct of life; Success
We ended the school with an "exhibition." Did you ever attend the old
back-country "last day of school exhibition"? The people that day came
from all over the township. They were so glad our school was closing
they all turned out to make it a success. They brought great baskets of
provender and we had a feast. We covered the school desks with boards,
and then covered the boards with piles of fried chicken, doughnuts and
forty kinds of pie.
Then we had a "doings." Everybody did a stunt. We executed a lot of
literature that day. Execute is the word that tells what happened to
literature in District No. 1, Jackson Township, that day. I can shut my
eyes and see it yet. I can see my pupils coming forward to speak their
"pieces." I hardly knew them and they hardly knew me, for we were
"dressed up." Many a head showed father had mowed it with the
sheepshears. Mother had been busy with the wash-rag--clear back of the
ears! And into them! So many of them wore collars that stuck out all
stiff like they had pushed their heads on thru their big straw hats.
I can see them speaking their "pieces." I can see "The Soldier of the
Legion lay dying in Algiers." We had him die again that day, and he had
a lingering end as we executed him. I can see "The boy stood on the
burning deck, whence all but he had fled." I can see "Mary's little
lamb" come slipping over the stage. I see the tow-headed patriot in
"Give me liberty or give me death." I feel now that if Patrick Henry
had been present, he would have said, "Give me death."
There came a breathless hush as "teacher" came forward as the last act
on the bill to say farewell. It was customary to cry. I wanted to yell.
Tomorrow I would get my money! I had a speech I had been saying over
and over until it would say itself. But somehow when I got up before
that "last day of school" audience and opened my mouth, it was a great
opening, but nothing came out. It came out of my eyes. Tears rolled
down my cheeks until I could hear them spatter on my six-dollar suit.
And my pupils wept as their dear teacher said farewell. Parents wept.
It was a teary time. I only said, "Weep not for me, dear friends. I am
going away, but I am coming back." I thought to cheer them up, but they
wept the more.
Next day I drew my money. I had it all in one joyous wad--$240. I was
going home with head high and aircastles even higher. But I never got
home with the money. Talk about the fool and his money and you get very
personal.
For on the way home I met Deacon K, and he borrowed it all. Deacon K
was "such a good man" and a "pillar of the church." I used to wonder,
tho, why he didn't take a pillow to church. I took his note for $240,
"due at corncutting," as we termed that annual fall-time paying up
season. I really thought a note was not necessary, such was my
confidence in the deacon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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