The University of Hard KnocksParlette, Ralph Albert
Philosophy
The University of Hard Knocks
Parlette, Ralph Albert
Character; Conduct of life; Success
I never sit down as "company" at a dinner and see some little children
going sadly into the next room to "wait till the second table" that my
heart does not go out to them. I remember when I did that.
I can only remember about four big meals in a year. That was "quart'ly
meeting day." We always had a big dinner on "quart'ly meeting day."
Elder Berry would stay for dinner. His name was Berry, but being
"presiding elder," we called him Elder Berry.
Elder Berry always stayed for dinner. He was one of the easiest men to
get to stay for dinner I ever saw.
Mother would stay home from "quart'ly meeting" to get the big dinner
ready. She would cook up about all the "brethren" brought in at the
last donation. We had one of those stretchable tables, and mother would
stretch it clear across the room and put on two table-cloths. She would
lap them over in the middle, where the hole was.
I would watch her get the big dinner ready. I would look over the long
table and view the "promised land." I would see her set on the jelly.
We had so much jelly--red jelly, and white jelly, and blue jelly. I
don't just remember if they had blue jelly, but if they had it we had
it on that table. All the jelly that ever "jelled" was represented. I
didn't know we had so much jelly till "quart'ly meeting" day. I would
watch the jelly tremble. Did you ever see jelly tremble? I used to
think it ought to tremble, for Elder Berry was coming for dinner.
I would see mother put on the tallest pile of mashed potatoes you ever
saw. She would make a hollow in the top and fill it with butter. I
would see the butter melt and run down the sides, and I would say,
"Hurry, mother, it is going to spill!" O, how I wanted to spill it! I
could hardly hold out faithful.
And then Elder Berry would sit down at the table, at the end nearest
the fried chicken. The "company" would sit down. I used to wonder why
we never could have a big dinner but what a lot of "company" had to
come and gobble it up. They would fill the table and father would sit
down in the last seat. There was no place for me to sit. Father would
say, "You go into the next room, my boy, and wait. There's no room for
you at the table."
The hungriest one of that assemblage would have to go in the next room
and hear the big dinner. Did you ever hear a big dinner when you felt
like the Mammoth Cave? I used to think as I would sit in the next room
that heaven would be a place where everybody would eat at the first
table.
I would watch them thru the key-hole. It was going so fast. There was
only one piece of chicken left. It was the neck. O, Lord, spare the
neck! And I would hear them say, "Elder Berry, may we help you to
another piece of the chicken?"
And Elder Berry would take the neck!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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