Broken, crippled, strengthless, Christian crawled over the sand to the
spot where he would die. Indistinguishable in the dark was the furrow he
left stained till the tide should come: long before daylight broke the
tide would come up to smooth and whiten it. He knew he was dying, and,
touching the ended rowan, rendered thanks that it was to be there. All
was nearly over, pain and a foolish, arrogant hope on which he had staked
his life: presently, when he was dead, Diadyomene would come, to overstep
his body, eluding there the toils. He misliked the thought that her feet
might go red from treading him, and he stretched about weakly for briny
hollows along the rock to cleanse the hot, slow oozing that chilled and
stiffened into long stripes.
Why should he be gasping still, as breathless as after his hardest race,
as after his mightiest heft? He required breath to help endurance of
thirst and exorbitant pain; air could he gasp in, deep and free, and yet
he wanted for more.
Why he should be dying, and how, Christian did not know. Life's centre
had been stricken mortally quicker than a lightning-flash, too subtly for
the brain to register any pain, so unmistakably he wondered only he was
yet alive. From breath to breath he awaited another touch and a final,
yet nothing lacked for vital order save air, air, more air. At short,
merciful intervals he drifted out of the range of any pain.
On this his third death he did not so very greatly shrink from passing
out of the body to stand before the face of his Maker. He could not take
up any meaning for prayer. He was discarded from service; perfect justice
had tried him, judged him, and condemned him as unfit. It was bitter for
him; but review of his finishing span of life, its sin, failure,
impotence, brought him to acquiescence. 'Thine is the kingdom, and the
power, and the glory' was all he had of prayer.
The apprehension of each human principle was straitened, by darkness
about him, by pain in strong possession, by recognition of death closing
in. As visitants to his heart from some far-distant sphere came Rhoda,
Lois, Diadyomene; they vanished away; he could not keep them close--not
even Diadyomene. 'Dear love, my love!'
Through the dark she came.
He rose to his knees, aware of a moving glimmer of grey, nearing, near.
At her swift, beautiful pace she made for the sea. Suddenly she stood. He
heard the catch of her breath; swiftly the dim oval of her face was
turned to him; then away. She swayed back a step; she swayed forward;
hung a moment at poise upright; reeled aside, and fled back into the
dark.
Then Christian found he had yet strong faculty for life. He had retained
small certainty that she had not long passed him by; speculation had
fallen faint. Lo! she was here, controlled, and he not dead. He could
pray, for her and for a little life, passionately.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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