Motionless, wordless, she hearkened while separate bells cadenced; when
again they fell to their wonted unison, the sea-bred woman knew that a
soul was hers, and that it claimed dominion.
'We beseech, we beseech, we beseech: Lord God for my unbaptized! Dear
Christ for Christian's Diadyomene! Blessed Trinity and all Saints for a
nameless soul in sore need!'
Diadyomene flung out vacant arms, and moaned a dear name, for years
unuttered. Across the long interval of sea-life her spirit leaned to own
the filial heart of childhood. Clear to her as yesterday came back that
broken fragment of earlier life,--bright, partial, inadequate, quaintly
minute, as impression had gone into a happy, foolish infant. Not a
memory had traversed the ground since to blur a detail, though now the
adult faculties could apprehend distortion, the beautiful vagarious
distortion that can live in a brain over toddling feet.
Recent song caught colour; reflected it.
'As a woman the breath to be rendered song, As a child the life that will
last so long.'
From deep roots under dense forgetfulness, the song had drawn up truth to
blossom in perfect form. Before the eager wonder of the child, the sea
had revealed its secret of men shapes, who had beckoned, and laughed, and
tempted her with promise and play, till she stretched out her arms to
their glee, till she ran in their circles, till, breathless, she thirsted
and drank of their offering, and so passed.
So tempered was her cold sea body that no ice-wind ever started a shiver.
Now one came, for the mother might not recognise her child, for the child
might be grown unworthy of her mother's love.
There was one to succour: Christian. What had she done? There was one to
blast her, too foul for any love: Christian.
Her hideous doings rushed back upon her with conviction of guilt; an old
sense revived; she shrank and cowered, bowed to the ground by an agony of
shame.
Lo! the moon bared her face and looked.
Diadyomene rose to her knees; with a steady will she rose to her feet and
went to suffer her full penalties.
Her portion of shame was dreadful to bear; her bold avowal of love for
Christian, her atrocious wording of hate intervolved to double disgrace.
Then neither passion had been entirely feigned; now she knew that love
swayed her alone, turning her to a worship of the man. No bitterer
penance could she conceive than with confession to him to strip heart and
soul naked as her body; this only could extend it: should his large
generosity keep under his loathing and contempt, and order him to deal
gently for her help according to pity. No way could he remit her dues.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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