"Put it on the hot plate quickly--now the toast. Children, make your father's toast--don't burn it whatever you do!" Thump--thump--thump--that was three thumps and there ought to be four; would James never make the fourth thump? She thought she would go mad if he left off at three. Ah! There it was, that was the fourth thump; now surely he must be coming. The toast was made; it would get cold and flabby. James hated it flabby. If they put it in the grate it would get hard; James hated it hard. Where was James? "Children, put the toast in the grate; no, don't--wait a minute." Now there was another sound; that was James blowing his nose. He must be coming down, then, for he always blew his nose on his soiled pocket handkerchief with just that sound, before he took his clean one. What was that--something broken! "Joan, go and see what Alice has smashed. Oh! I hope it's not the new breakfast dish, the fire-proof one!" Thump, thump, on the stairs this time; James was coming down at last. "Joan, never mind about going to the kitchen; stay here and see to your father's breakfast." The door opened and Colonel Ogden came in. He was very quiet, a bad sign; there was blood from a scratch on his chin, to which a pellet of cotton wool adhered. "Coffee, dear?" "Naturally. By the way, Mary, you'll oblige me by leaving a teacupful of hot water for me to shave with another time." He felt his scratch carefully. "Joan, get your father the kidneys. Will you begin with kidneys or curried eggs?" "Kidneys. By the way, Mary, I don't pay a servant to smear my brown boots with pea soup; I pay her to clean them--to clean them, do you hear? To clean them properly." The calm with which he had entered the room was fast disappearing; his voice rose. "James, dear, don't excite yourself." The colonel cut a kidney viciously; as he did so, tell-tale stains appeared on the plate. "Damn it all, Mary! Do you think I'm a cannibal?" "Oh, James!" "Oh James, oh James! It's sickening, Mary. No hot water, not even to shave with, and now raw kidneys; disgusting! You know how I hate my food underdone. Damn it all, Mary, I don't run a household for this sort of thing! Give me the eggs!" "Joan, fetch your father the eggs!" "What's the matter with the toast, Mary? It's stone cold!" "You came down so late, dear." "I didn't get into the bath-room until twenty minutes past eight. I can't eat this toast." "Joan, make your father some fresh toast; be quick, dear, and Milly, take the kidneys to Ellen and ask her to grill them a little more. Now, James, here's some nice hot coffee." "Sit down!" thundered the colonel. Joan and Milly sat down hastily. "Keep quiet; you get on my nerves, darting about all round the table. Upon my word, Mary, the children haven't touched their breakfast!" "But, James----" "That's enough I say; eat your bacon, Milly. Joan, stop shuffling your feet."