England -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction
Joan collapsed on a chair and dropped her head on her hand. She felt
utterly incapable of continuing the quarrel, it seemed too futile and
ridiculous. How could her mother have expected her to leave Elizabeth;
she felt that she should not have come home even now, she should have
stayed by her friend and refused to be driven away. She looked up, and
something in her tired young eyes smote her mother's heart; she knelt
down beside her and folded her in her arms.
"Oh, my Joan, my darling," she whispered, pressing the girl's head down
on her shoulder. "It's only because I was so anxious, my dearest--I love
you too much, Joan."
Joan submitted to the embrace quietly with her eyes closed; neither of
them spoke for some minutes. Mrs. Ogden stretched out her hand and
stroked the short, black hair with tremulous fingers. Her heart beat
very fast, she could feel it in her throat. Joan stirred; the gripping
arm was pressing her painfully.
Mrs. Ogden controlled herself with an effort; there was so much that she
felt she must say to Joan at that moment; the words tingled through her,
longing to become articulate. She wanted to cry out like a primitive
creature; to scream words of entreaty, of reproach, of tenderness. She
longed to humble herself to this child, beseeching her to love her and
her only, and above all not to let Elizabeth come between them. But even
as the words formed themselves in her brain she crushed them down,
ashamed of her folly.
"I hope Elizabeth was not much burnt," she forced herself to say.
Joan sat up. "It's her hands," she answered unsteadily.
Mrs. Ogden kissed her. "You must lie down for a little; this thing has
been a great shock, of course, and I think you've been very brave."
Joan submitted readily enough; she was thankful to get away; she wanted
to lie on her bed in a darkened room and think, and think and think.
2
The days that followed were colourless and flat. Joan took to wandering
about the house, fidgeting obviously until the hour arrived when she
could get away to Elizabeth.
On the whole Elizabeth seemed glad of her visits, Joan thought. No doubt
she was dull, lying there alone with her hands on a pillow in front of
her. The nurse went out every afternoon, and Joan was careful to time
her visits accordingly. But it seemed to the girl that Elizabeth had
changed towards her, that far from opening up new fields of intimacy
Elizabeth's condition had set up a barrier. She was acutely conscious of
this when they were alone together. She felt that whatever they talked
about now was forced and trivial, that they might have said quite
different things to each other; then whose fault was it, hers or
Elizabeth's? She decided that it was Elizabeth's. Her hurried visits
left her with a feeling of emptiness, of dissatisfaction; she came away
without having said any of the clever and amusing things that she had so
carefully prepared, with a sense of having been terribly dull, of having
bored Elizabeth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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