Before the summer, there were two more tea hours with her. Each of them
stood alone. No word uttered at one could ever have been confused with
any word uttered at the others. Yet, despite their clearness, they were
indissoluble. They lay together in Quincy’s mind as the boundary to a
great and vague impression. The vague impression was first; behind,
remoter, were these clear visits. As the boy envisaged them, it was as
if, before them, Julia Deering had not existed. Instinctively, he
accepted this: that before them, she had not existed, although his
reason told him otherwise. And of course, his reason did not count. In
like fashion, does a primitive people accept a day and an event when the
world began. Its reason also, had it been consulted, would have judged
otherwise.
* * * * *
“Why am I interested in the household life of a philosopher? Why do I
resent his wife yet dream of her? Why, when I dwell on his perfections,
does she seem to mar them? Why, when I let her vision come does his seem
to dim? What business are all these things to me? I am a protégé of
Professor Deering. Each year, out of the incoming mass, he selects a few
like me. I have interested a woman happening to be his wife, who, being
an interesting woman, is naturally capable of interest in another. There
is nothing more. Yet my mind goes--like fingers picking rags--hoping for
a fabulous jewel; tremulously. What is wrong with me?”
These questions Quincy put to himself, as the sun mellowed and the
spring burst forth from the brown earth and the haggard trees. Quincy
took them with him on his country runs. The ground was damp with
moisture. Maple buttons stood on the long twigs. And as he ran or
sauntered or reclined on a dry rock, garlanded in the shoots of little
elms and oaks, the question rounded like a fist, hardened and struck him
silent.
All of that spring this phenomenon was repeated. There would sprawl the
questions, pricking or stroking him--no more. Suddenly, a vital force
would encompass, then compress them. They would become a fist and strike
him. He would startle, resist, give way. And then, as suddenly, the fist
would once more disintegrate. Again, there would be relaxation until the
following blow. All of that spring, moreover, there was no conclusion.
Certain things were plain enough.
Professor Deering was the greatest man in the world. His friendship was
priceless. But Julia Deering was the first woman in the world willing to
consort with him. Was that less a treasure? And why should it be? Why
did some sickly sense within him tell him of a conflict between these
two possessions? He had a mind; he had a soul. Did these two possessions
menace one another? Perhaps that explained the mist about the two new
human elements. But with all this, the boy’s head hurt. And his mind
helped him out, through some centrifugal tangent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account