The other bit his lip, savagely. “Then you have heard both sides, Mr.
Burt? What more can you demand?”
And again, there was a pause.
“Did you come here,” the big man’s voice was low and vibrant with his
question, “did you come here to judge me?”
Quincy hid his face in his hands. “To judge you? To judge you? Good God!
I came here to ask you to judge me!”
A jet of understanding shivered through the man. Quincy was not looking.
And in that moment, his face broke. He righted himself, mastered himself
and strode toward the boy. He wrenched his hands from his face.
“Look up!” he cried.
And Quincy met his clear, deep brown eyes--met them unflinchingly, his
head strained up to do so, his body still huddled in his chair, his
wrists hotly clenched in the hands of the Professor.
The Professor dropped his hold.
“We cannot judge each other, Quincy. That would be as unfair, one way as
the other. I do not understand. But I have stopped questioning. We can
spare one another that. And without tangling one another further, we can
go on, solving our lives.”
He stopped; and stepping back, surveyed the boy. “You will not
misunderstand the spirit in which I have received you. Do not turn your
back on anything--on me, for instance, or on her. Be a man. Now go.”
He spoke with a gigantic effort. And now, he held out his hand.
Quincy looked at it. He leaned back rigidly against the easy path of
taking it.
“Professor,” he said, “I cannot take your hand.”
The hand dropped back to the Professor’s side. A flash of anger went
before a cloud of pain. Both of these Quincy saw on his face. And then,
after a silence, Mr. Deering spoke:
“Mr. Burt,” he said, “your impulse in being unwilling to take my hand,
since you were willing to come to me--I confess--I cannot understand it.
It is due either to weakness or to a worse thing. You have disappointed
me,--for the first time.... Think it over. And come back to me, when you
can take my hand.” He walked toward the door, and, flinging it open--:
“Good-bye,” he said.
So Quincy went away.
* * * * *
Such were the auspices of junior year.
Everything seemed gone which he had so bravely builded up. Eighteen
years it had taken him to gain a vantage point in life, to breathe
life’s air without pain and meet life’s onslaught with a kind of joy.
And then, after one brief excursion, everything had collapsed,
everything had died; and only he remained--he, the eternal constant, but
bruised and shrunken and stripped of even the glimmer of understanding.
What had been wrong with him? What false fire had this been, making his
warmth and his vision?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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