Quincy trudged through the campus, bound for his room, as a wounded
beast seeks his lair. Several of his mates passed him. He was forced to
stop and shake their hands and meet their perfunctory questions as to
his summer. And all of them felt the coldness of this fellow, Burt; and
Quincy knew that all of them felt this. So he avoided stopping when he
could. And he shut the door of his room behind him--it was as if to blot
out the serene self-satisfaction of the college buildings under whose
stony eyes he had had to pass. And he rejoiced at the emptiness of his
room. And so, he sank into a chair and began feeling for his wound.
But it was utterly hopeless.
The room had not yet been placed in order. A trunk stood on the floor; a
carpet was rolled away in the corner; chiffonière and book-box and divan
huddled together, giving an air of disarray. He could not find his
wound, in such a clutter. He knew merely that its pain submerged him,
flooded its position, made him feel that all of him was drenched with
blood. Vacantly, like this, he sat for an hour. And then, an idea drew
him from the room.
He boarded a car. And now, he was in the open; hatless, panting, seeking
nature as a solace. The gentle woods flared away in their autumnal
dress. The wind tarried in the branches, shaking the red leaves downward
with the fresh force of its news. Quincy marched on, over the full-blown
grass. A copse of locust trilling before him, a harsh space where
malignant-colored sumachs mingled with the thickspread blackberry briars
that caught and stung him--and then, he reached a grove of fir. Here, he
sat down. The ground was moist and green. And a great spruce spread out
its balmful verdure. Beyond lay the parched woods. But he was free and
cut off from them. Here, he should be able to fix his wound.
From the clouds of feeling that swirled up in him, the clear-cut figure
of Julia Deering came forth. He resented her. There was no love in his
beholding her. This hurt. For it was an emptiness that ached. And then,
a strange sensation filtered through. Why did he resent her? Despise her
almost? He had hurt her; that was why. He had been unfair to her; that
was why. He had betrayed her and she lay silent in his mind throughout,
unstirring, unprotesting. This was the unforgivable thing. This was why.
How could he love a creature himself had maimed?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account