Clarice seemed so intact, so right! Quincy felt disgust at his own lack
of measure before this girl. She was younger than himself in years; he
had branded her, and, he was sure, once turned her down as a hard flirt.
Yet, despite her lack of mind and of experience, how ably she had
mastered her environment compared to him; how well turned all the
swirling things about her to her advantage, to her own channels, in
contrast to his floundering and illusions and utterly unformed bravado!
For what could he think of his new armor and his new creeds when a few
talks with Clarice disintegrated them, sent them pell-mell, haphazard
like the little evil live things seen through a microscope in a glass of
dirty water?
He thought of Adelaide and his behavior there came to him more nearly in
its proper light. He had never faced her, either. But since she was
tender and soft and inefficient, he had been able to fend her off. That
was not prowess. He felt sorry for her ineptitude; angry at her for not
being able better to present her case since it was worthy and since he
had need of it. Adelaide, self-asserting, might have saved him from
these pitiful, merciless results of a few encounters outside the Rut. He
blamed her for it. And once again the old vision of Marsden came to
him--as if it had been new--of Marsden the unclean thing, and of the
City that was his temple.
But all of these things were uncomfortable and fleeting as yet. For
both reasons they must not seem important; they must not seem to last.
Here, before him was Clarice, looking at him, delving within him
doubtless, for the causes of his silence.
What if she were to find them!
Quincy clasped his hands, and let them fall cavalierly to his knees. He
was in danger--that part of him that was the City’s thing. So the City
came to his rescue. It supplied him with a smile, a fund of evasive
talk, an armor for fencing himself away. And so, with sick foreknowledge
how, he made his slippery escape.
The rest of the evening was a duel--her knowing thrusts, his parryings
that grew forever more self-conscious, more defensive, more
half-hearted.
II
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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