Julia flashed on his mind and he did not spurn her. And the point of
this association--it flashed also on his mind. The old story--the
crux--the kernel of his misadventures.
Was it too late? He was unhappy. That was a sign of hope. But no. It was
a token merely that the end was not yet there. He would go on fighting,
struggling. But he would not win. Already he knew that he could not
hope. He still wished to win; he still wished to hope. This proved only
that the end was not yet there.
Quincy lay cold within his sheets, awed by the beauty of his vision.
* * * * *
Like a dank breath, morning blew into the open window. The world
shivered; the air was streaked and tremorous with chill. A piercing
gleam, splintered into myriad tiny weakling emanations, came stirring
upon him with the burdened air. A faint murmur lay hesitant above the
damp-drenched streets. The smell of a fresh round to life was shrill in
the blue glow. The murmur broke into sharp noises, desperate,
marvelously clear. The color of the whole was an unclean reluctance.
Here was not morning’s birth, but the night’s grave; the winding sheet
of rest; a pall upon the City.
Quincy fell asleep.
* * * * *
The summer was hot and clinging. It sucked the moisture and fruitfulness
of men. Quincy suffered along. But he suffered more. For most, the City
had its compensations. There were the beaches, the garish playgrounds of
Coney Island, the dirty rocks and rotten wharves of East River, studded
with naked bodies of boys, draped, crouching forms of girls, who swam
and dived and reveled despite the City ordinance forbidding it and the
pestiferous state of the sewer-soaked river. None of these means of
wringing pleasure from the heat attracted Quincy. The last summer, when
it had been far more a bearable proposal, he had declined his mother’s
offer that he commute to them. This summer it was out of thought. His
mother did not even make the suggestion. So he was alone. Clarice, the
one girl he really cared to be with, was away. And he avoided Lamory,
ranking him now with half a dozen other uncongenial friends.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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