At last, however, she stops before him. He feels the doom of her words,
ere she can utter them.
“Quincy,” she says, “it’s bed-time. Say good-night.”
For a moment, he sits motionless. It is as if he were lost in an
incongruous atmosphere, shutting in his body. But his mind has gone out
before him, from the room. Vaguely, yet poignantly, he is rehearsing in
his little brain the dreadful drama that lies out there--the ordeal of
going up to bed. In his mind, he feels already the black loom of the
house, the fitful shiver of light in the long halls, the numerous
attendance, in a thousand shadows, in a thousand forms, of night’s dire
beings. And although he sits there in the light-flooded room, filled as
it is with those whom he knows best, he is alone already, abandoned
already to mystery and terror. And those who are about him serve not at
all to attenuate the presence of what acts in his mind, or to protect
him from it. For this is very real. And those about him are very
lifeless in their care, very vague in their reality.
“Did you hear what your mother said?”
These are the sole words his father has for him, all of the dinner hour.
They serve to throw Quincy to his feet. He stands and looks about him.
He would draw strength from these faces to meet his trial, light from
them to brave the darkness. But, though his mind grasp it not and his
mouth have no word for it, he knows that he has failed. Almost, escape
from here is good. But there is so little choice! And his untutored
heart has no law to make decision between the shadows that threaten and
this light that mocks.
It is the rule that he must bid “good-night” individually, to each of
these persons--his family--who now direct their gaze on him with a
certain prying interest, as if to gain a sensation from his antics. He
feels this. He feels that to cry out or misbehave in some wild fashion
as his panic prompts, would merely furnish a cordial to their repast. He
feels that to rush out, branding these salutes the mockery they are,
would provide a pretext for dragging out his agony. And then, it comes
back to him--the prospect beyond the door--! It is an odd impulse,
indeed, that would impel rushing upon _that_. For _that_ is one of those
recurrent ills which his life’s reason teaches him to take, slowly,
hushedly, with gritted teeth--the passage to his room.
So he moves doggedly from father to Marsden, from Marsden to Marsden’s
two adoring sisters, and thence to Jonas, who revels in his place beside
his father.
Last comes his mother. She takes him in her two hands, lifts him from
his feet, embraces him sturdily, once, twice, again, as he dangles in
the air. And then, turning him about, she sets him toward the door. The
fervor of her message sends the child almost exultant to the stairs. It
required so little to enspirit him! But at the landing, the maternal
warmth wears weak and the chill gloom of the hall breaks through.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account