Yet there was an issue to her inspiration, even if she was not to be the
one who gained. With the fall came a new spurt of hope and confidence to
Quincy. It was still Rhoda. The boy ignored, of course, that the fuel
for this new hope had come from Adelaide; that his _élan_ toward Rhoda
was due to Adelaide’s encouragement. He had never looked on his younger
sister in a warm light. The fire with which Rhoda touched him had never
ceased to burn. And it was the season of lost passions--the season of
burning leaves. Adelaide saw the event with conscious eyes--its irony,
its hopelessness. It was she who had yearned and who had planned; it was
Rhoda who ignored and who received.
And then, of course, came the same result. Quincy made ready for a still
surer, harder state of disillusion.
* * * * *
The climax of sullen naughtiness was over.
After all, his condition had been chiefly due to his own sense of
weakness, to his lack of pride. There had been so little impetus to
pride! It was not that he was an unremarkable boy. He was. But most such
feel distinction at least within their family. The illustriousness that
the world will, of course, deny them, they receive at the hand of a
parent, or a sister--a little world. And this little world they coax
into sufficiency so that the basic need of holding up one’s head is
answered; and, often to tragic consequence, the cold outer world comes
to be ignored.
This was not Quincy’s case. He had succeeded poorly in judging his
family’s view of him to be a blind one. Now, however, matters changed to
a degree.
Quincy was at an age to sound the springs of manhood, and to glean
childish joy therefrom. Above his poverty of gifts, there arose now a
sense of power and of promise that thrilled him the more for its bare
setting. Quincy was to be a man--a tall, strong master endowed with all
the honors of his sex! This was something to one who had been an
unpetted child in a large family. And the new feeling brought
revolution to his ways and views. The new element that entered in was
one of confidence--potential self-assertion. It was a sickly, scarce
noticeable thing. It was not strong enough to appear in its own light.
But it gave to Quincy a sense of a reserve, a flair of a future. And
however vague, this was a vital thing in one whose soul had been so
constantly flung back upon a fancy-builded past.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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